[karen]

Karen, you related a level and speed of reaction to these stimuli that I struggle to digest. For myself, the changes I experience take much longer. I very seldom feel much happens quickly on this front, and certainly the mental changes for me seem to take days and weeks to occur, when they occur at all. I am younger (50) so perhaps that is part of it, but I would guess we have rather different genetics at play.

I have nothing to compare it to. What I do is to keep a journal of how I feel and what I am thinking. I suspect that some of what I at first perceived as "growth" was nothing more than water retention or a soreness from using my Nipple Pump. The mental chnages are more of a craving ... sorta like the more I feel the more I want ...

Anyway, I will say that my boobie greed does seem to increase when I am not on PM. But so does my sensitivity to people staring. Go figure.

For me the more DHT that I suppress and the more Estrdiol that are in my body (at least based on what everything is supposed to do since I don't take blood tests) the more I have desires to be more of a female.

On the maintenance dose, I find myself to be quite settled regarding having achieved all I want. I am not going to take higher than maintenance dose. Not only do I intellectually not want to get any bigger, but emotionally, while I am not taking PM I find my moods much more volatile and I don't trust my decision-making as much. Interestingly enough I find myself much quicker to make decisions while off PM, despite not being as sure of my choices. I'm not sure how that compares to your experience.

For me I don't "lock in decisions" until I'm reasonably sure that hormone altering drugs have are no longer in my system influencing my decisions. That makes me start and stop allot, but I'm trying to understand all of this and taking my time to do it.

I'm not contributing to the auto-gynephilia and labels discussion. I got my fill of those topics months ago over on bigender.net. Lots to read there if opinions on it are of interest.

I've been trying to dig out as much factual information as I can ... at the same time trying to not listen to unsubstantiated opinions. But I may go check it out anyway.

lol at only wanting to jump the pretty ones. Perhaps a variation of this discussion will lead us all to great jobs in prison reform research.

I kinda laughed at myself when I re-read that comment of mine.

Karen