[Black Hippie]

Hello everyone, sorry I have not posted in awhile. Getting ready for a University is very time consuming and I have been a little sick lately. Anyway, I need advice about college dating or dating in general because I am moving to a University in a week! D: I don’t want to find a serious relationship, but I want to trying dating in college because I never really been on a “date”. I know I should focus on my schoolwork, but I still want to have a little fun and explore the dating scene. I’m in an awkward situation for dating because I don’t fit into a particular “type” of girl. I never had a serious boyfriend or tired going out on dates. (I don’t count my past high school boyfriends as serious relationships because they never lasted beyond 3 mouths) I used to be afraid to approach people because of my looks, but I want to try out the dating scene. I do not have a typical look and I think guys will be thrown off by that. How do I go about dating and should I approach a guy? I’m convinced it will be very hard for me to date and I need advice. I’m not afraid of rejection, but I’m not sure what kind of guy would give me the time of day. How do you guys date and what are some helpful tips?
PS: Sorry I didn’t relate this to NBE, but I will relate it somehow later!! Lol I just love hearing advice from this site. Plus, I can get dating advice from all over the world ^^!
Thank you.

[Amaven]

Hi Hippie, congrats on going to college. I remember first going to college and it was very exciting.

What you will be surprised at is going to college (particularly a big place like a university) is very different from high school in that there is such a high level of diversity. In high school i remember people met and dated each other based on clicks or status (like jock with cheerleader or president of this club with president of that club) but you will find many people at universities (at least in my experience) date eachother based on mutual interests. You'll find yourself hanging out with people in your same major as you will run into them alot and have some of the same classes. I met my current boyfriend because we were both philosophy majors and had almost all of the same classes.

Try not to be too concerned about looks. Most people in college (particularly after their freshman year) have matured a bit and tend to focus in internal characteristics rather than appearances. Of course some people will always choose their mates based on looks, and some frat boys will only date sorority chicks, but universities have plenty of mature men who while pursuing their education come to learn the value of being with someone they can relate well to and be interpersonal with, whom they share interests and ideas with. So don't worry too much and just be yourself. With all of the activities, organizations and events that will happen you will inevitably meet people you connect well with. It's MUCH different from high school and I think you'll enjoy it alot.

I think that rather than it being difficult for you to find someone to date, it will turn out that you will have more than one option to choose from, so enjoy college and enjoy yourself and have fun, but don't forget about your academics!

[Black Hippie]

Thank you soo much Amaven and yes schoolwork will always come first. Hopefully ,I can maintain at least a 3.5 every semester. I went to community college my first year, but it was very lonely and there. Hopefully a University will be better and a fresh new start. I already made a few friends and I didn't even move in yet. I can't wait to start my classes and meet more people!! ^^

[charrr]

black hippie. i missed you! congrats on going to uni. ah the days. i have to say, i was always very shy and awkward til college. then suddenly people change because there are so many of them and so many kinds. it was awesome. i realized there were a lot more weirdos out there besides me. i made friends and was a pretend social butterfly in my groups and social atmosphere. i made some swell lifelong friendships! friendship is also the most important thing about being a couple along with taking care while having fun and being the best person you can be as yourself. soon, it will be so obvious that there is no need to change for others (except making corrections for picky profs lol) or worry about them over there. i think statiscally lots of people find their mates in college. trust me, no garentee there either :] but present your true and best nature. if you are unique and special personality that is not something to worry about. i am no cookie cutter girl and some guys though thrown off by that were not adverse to it :] how boring the world would be if we were all a bunch of duplicate zombies! i didn't do a lot of dating, but i don't regret that. i found the one for me (though i could strangle him sometimes). some girls in college, eesh i was sorry for them. girl, i know you are not gonna be one of those cases now! anyway you are gonna be surprised the diversity you encounter and like it i suspect, since you get on with some of us crazies! peace and good luck my sista!

[Black Hippie]

Thanks char!! I missed everyone too. Thanks for the advice!!! I still can't believe I'll be in college next week D: lol

[Bibi]

Congrats, Black Hippie! And I think you´ll find that university is a completely different world from high school, in a good sense. I had a not so fun time in high school because I was very shy, but in university I got to meet so much people and made so many friends I felt like I had become a different person.
Anyway, as for dating, there is a writer called Mimi Tanner who´s written some ebooks on the subject, I think they are very helpful because she understands men-women relationships like no one else! I wish I had read her books when I was your age, it would´ve made life so much easier. So if you want, just PM me your email and I can send you a copy.

[Black Hippie]

All these post are making me feel soo much better about going to college in general!! Thanks for the comment Bibi!!! I am a shy person, but I think college will give me the confidence to loosing up and make new friends. !! My mom is taking me shopping tomorrow, so I can look cute for move in day and new student orientation ^-^!! I can't wait!! Plus, I am getting my hair fixed up and braided ee!! Sadly, once I start my classes I'm going right back to sweatpants and a ponytail with glasses look. That's my thinking and getting A's look! ^^. I hope I can make at least a 3.5 my first semester, but I'll add a litte fun in between instance studying

[ianH]

Talking to a woman shouldn't be hard. Learning how you can speak with a female means you should be casual and real. Here are a few pointers for various life situations. Read more: Breaking the ice – How to talk to a woman in any situation.

[travbm]

Focus on school work. Try to have a study budy. Of cource my aunt married her study buddy. though?