16-07-2011, 01:54 PM
Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously
August 10 2007 at 4:17 AM Davilee (Login Davi-lee)
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Well,I have been recently catching myself walking differently.
Uhmmmm....I actually have to sometimes force myself to tone it down,when I notice.
It was kinda disconcerting at first....
But,it feels right and natural as my pelvis,hips,butt and legs have developed even more than they were already.
I was never a real masculine person anyway,so I guess I didnt have far to go once I have been hormone boosting.
Its hard sometimes to watch yourself and how you are acting....
My mannerisms have sort of morphed further also.
Feminine behavior just seems more normal.....I guess Its because Ive broke through the mental blockage several months ago, that I had for so long, and my T is being lowered even more.
Its true that raising estrogen will definitely change the way the mind works.
My only concern is,... Is it going to make my depression problem even worse at times?...I hope not but I should accept the possibility.
Author Reply
Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 10 2007, 5:10 AM
Absolutely.
I fought hard over the years to suppress my natural tendencies by behaving in a hyper masculine alpha male type way. It was my "disguise" to hide what was going on inside.
I've dropped that and they real me is coming out again. (I was "out" once before about 17 years ago)
I actually have to be careful about it now because I'm not really "out" yet. I'm currently projecting/presenting a gender neutral image. I'm not trying to be overtly feminine because people can tell when you're hamming it up so I try to tone it down and keep my feminine mannerisms in check for the most part.
The whole thing about my transition is is that it's a transition from male to female. Not a jump or change but a transition. So as my physical appearance changes and becomes more feminine I loosen up a little on my mannerisms and speech. I try to balance the way I behave to be in tune with the way I look.
I don't want to appear as a gay male because I'm not one and I don't want people to think I am.
It will take time and practice but I can do it. I did it once before and was living as a female (except for work)
Once my hair grows out (again) I'm sure I'll be getting called Ma'am once again. With the hair and the female body that is taking shape and my natural tendencies to behave in feminine ways, things will work out.
One of the things that I have to be really careful about is being around a bunch of women.
One place where I do computer work is owned and operated by women. All women. Except for the 3 gay guys.. When I am there working on their computers I'm in the beehive and surrounded by beautiful, powerful, intelligent women. And it is a very nice place to be. I LOVE being in the beehive. The place is dripping with estrogen. And if I'm stuck there too long I fall into step with them and I start emulating them in speech and mannerisms. It just feels normal and natural to me to be feminine. Problem is, what's on the outside doesn't currently jive with what's on the inside. So I have to be careful and keep things under control so people don't look at me and think something strange is going on.
My plan for transition is a slow and gradual shift of gender. Nothing sudden. That way the people I have to interact with will adjust more easily to small, subtle changes over a long time period.
Yeah it's tough to suppress what I am inside but I have to do it this way. I tried a sudden coming out once before and it was a disaster. Slow and easy this time.
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Blu-Jay
(no login) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 10 2007, 7:06 AM
OH YEAH! The truth is we don't notice that we do them. Other People notice them first. It's happened to me a few times where I'm doing something and someone will kind of tilt their head sideways,with the expression on their faces," huh! what the heck is with him"?
Yep!those subconscious mannerisms are kind of sneaky give aways that something is going on with you.Like I said before, They see them first.
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 11 2007, 2:21 PM
Heehee....yah,the problem Im quickly having it seems is my mind cant wait to kick my "genderneutral mannerisms" ass to the curb...HIT THE ROAD YA BUM!
I mean,its like slowly creeping out of my control.
I didnt expect my boosted hormones to ally with my unfettered girly mind and plot behind my back.
I have this tiny fear that one of these days Im going to just sort of be this other new version of me and it will seem perfectly fine and dandy.....I betcha i wont even care whats different..I wont notice it because my current foremind will have been waylaid and assimilated by the crafty babe in my head who is patiently biding her time.......
Thats one of the reasons I havent been buying girl clothes.....*whispering*...I dont want to encourage her anymore than she already is...girl stuff is just going to make her crazy......
Im on thin ice...Ive been thinking of getting a corset type thingy,to use for compressing my ribcage in....any of ya know a good place for something like that? I guess,I'll need the real deal corset not something that just poses as one and looks cute.
......must...not...buy....cute...discounted....sundresses....that.....come with... matching.. hats....a aaaaa aaagh
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Fennel Fairy
(no login) Erm... August 11 2007, 11:18 PM
I don't quite understand the term "feminine mannerisms". What comes to mind is the exaggerated behaviour that gay men have. I am not aware of any particular feminine mannerism of my own even though I am female. I'd better check my body parts once again to make sure I'm not a guy...
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 12:26 AM
Well, I think what we are trying to say here is that if you watch men and women side by side, women are very expressive with their hands, when they talk, how they move, more fluid in their movements, etc.. Body language in other words. Men in general don't use the same or even similar body language and movements, men are stiff and unexpressive and robotic.
I'm not talking about gay males, I've seen them and you are correct, they exaggerate their body language to a large degree, it's very obvious how they behave, walk, use their hands, speak, etc... Spotting a gay male is not a hard thing to do, they usually out themselves in a matter of seconds.
What I'm saying is that in my case, I take on the more subtle motions and movements and mannerisms and body language of a typical woman. I don't exaggerate or consciously try to act feminine, I just do it. A casual observer might notice that I am effeminate in my ways, that I show a more feminine way than masculine way of interacting with the world.
When I am around women I feel more relaxed and I don't try to act macho, I just more or less fall into step and casually sort of "fit in" with the flow of things.
When I was in high school I hung out with a bunch of girls. We went everywhere together, we partied together, hung out together, I mean we were a tight knit little group. They totally treated me as an absolute equal in everyway. I was just one of the girls. It was great. I didn't have to put on any fake fronts, I was just me and they totally treated me exactly the same as the rest of the girls. I miss that. That was about the only time in my life that I felt comfortable about being me.
I wasn't "out" then, I wasn't anything. I was just one of the gang. I was just me. If I acted effeminate (and I did) not a single one of them cared at all. I didn't have to impress anyone or be anything special to anyone. We just hung out and had fun. We lived to have fun. We drove around in a 1968 VW drinking Boone's Farm strawberry wine and laughing our asses off.
Those were good times.
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 12:51 AM
I was just being outlandish with my post there for comedy value.....
My reference to female mannerisms is just about certain ways of moving and gesturing and such....
Dont you notice the particular ways women move,many are very subtle?....thats why they're female attributes,subtle and understated.Smoother motions.Softer in method of engaging with everything,typically.
Guys lack subtlety in movement and gesture generally.
What I was saying about myself in that last entry was sort of embellishing for being funny...
I dont really have a separate girly mind as such,...I feel that its my main mindset actually...I just have repressed many characteristics most of the time.
That is what I was refering to as my "gender neutral",mannerisms....Morticia knows what Im talking about.....
Its like I feel that the "non female" mannerisms are the actual affectation,I feel like Im acting "male" sometimes....even though I dont act at all like a typical guy.I dont feel at all like a guy either....except for the sensations of my organs in front between my legs moving around.
In my life Ive always been either repulsed by my genitals or to "the other end of spectrum", I like the sensations that they produce and am attracted by the way it looks and am attracted to guys because I like penises.....
Its like Ive been a female in a previous life and Im just trying out a male body this time around....
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 1:31 AM
I too despise my plumbing and it causes me much grief and anguish and annoyment. (is that a word?)
Those things down there cause me a lot of physical discomfort and a tremendous amount of emotional grief.
To look down and see that down there is distressing to say the least.
And there is nothing more annoying on the face of this planet or in the known universe than to have the damn things always in the way. I spend like 90% of my waking hours trying to readjust the damn things so that I'm not in distress and discomfort. I can not sit, stand, walk, lay down, run or breath without them causing me discomfort. It's like having a half dozen pissed off alley cats in a burlap bag.
Well, I finally, finally got some relief! I found an under garment that fits in such a marvelous way!
It completely solves the problem. Well, not really but it makes it very, very tolerable.
It keeps everything up and out of they way and it actually makes me feel as if there is no longer anything down there. It even looks as if there is nothing down there anymore. I can pull my jeans up snug now so they *FIT* like they should and don't hang off my ass like men wear them. My jeans finally fit right and comfortably. No more fighting with them all the time. No more constant readjusting. Everything just fits and feels good, for once in my life. It's such a wonderful feeling to have nothing between my legs. It's such a comfortable feeling, it's like a new found freedom! I am sooooo much going to enjoy having my pink kitty and being rid forever of these annoying damn things. I can't wait until there's *really* nothing between my legs.
Here's what it looks like.
http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w279/...c54b73.jpg
That is NOT me in the picture. I WISH it was.. Anway, it's made out of some pretty sturdy stuff, I forget exactly what but it's very strong elastic. And the built in waist cincher is hook & eye. I wish that it was a little tighter. I may buy a sewing machine and take it in some so it pulls tighter around my waist. But over all, it's a wonderful fit, extremely comfortable and best of all, it keeps things put up and out of the way so that I feel free at last from those horribly annoying things. It's a very, very nice feeling to feel *nothing between my legs* !!
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 2:10 AM
Oh, I didnt see your post before I submitted my last one before your last two .....YES....that is good description...to explain what we are talking about....ya know,I guess sometimes people have a hard time picking up on mannerisms associated with those of their own sex.
I just am a person who observes people closely and I try to pay attention to how Im behaving.Im facinated by learning how to "read" peoples gestures and behavior.
What I said in my one post above about my mind.....I wasnt joking about the parts when I said that I feel like Im slowly allowing my feminine aspects to come to the fore.Its like now I dont feel like hiding myself anymore.
Yah,what you said about gay men and their mannerisms.That crazy overthetop type behavior is not appealing. I definitely,am not acting like that.
I actually only slightly alter how I normally behave and my mannerisms.
Thats what I meant when I said that its so easy for me to slip over,because I have always been closer to feminine behavior and movement anyway.
I have always been teased by my friends about how much I use my hands and cannot talk without moving my arms and hands......and they have always kinda teased me about the way I walk....I sort of walk smooth yet bouncy and step lightly you know not plodding/stomping,and swing my arms a lot as I go.I always am looking around as I walk,looking at the sky...watching birds....watching other people.....
Yah,what you said about "hanging parts",indeed that is what I was thinking the other day....that I was getting frustrated by my parts sticking out and keeping my pants from laying right along my body...I thought i was going to cry about it again the other day.....
That would be so nice to be smooth along my front and crotch....wow then I could wear many things and not have to hide my parts or feel like I had an unnatural lump sticking out that I was ashamed of...
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 8:51 AM
"Yah,what you said about "hanging parts",indeed that is what I was thinking the other day....that I was getting frustrated by my parts sticking out and keeping my pants from laying right along my body...I thought i was going to cry about it again the other day.....
That would be so nice to be smooth along my front and crotch....wow then I could wear many things and not have to hide my parts or feel like I had an unnatural lump sticking out that I was ashamed of... "
Yep.. Same here. I said I wasn't going to do it but once again I have gone against my own word.
I bought me a few pairs of ladies jeans. YAY!! I bought some with a higher rise (I don't like low riders or hip huggers) so that they will fit me better. I got straight leg style so that might make my ass look a little wider. Oh and they are stretch too..
And so it goes as I *knew* it would. Despite my denials I spiral faster and faster into my femininity, caught up in the whirlwind.
So anything I say that I will never do, give me a month and I'll be doing it.
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) About pants.... August 12 2007, 9:59 AM
Yah,...ooooh i think the stretch pants would be super.
I know Ive said this before but....the stupid mens pants are completely wrong for me and always have been....
Heres the problem....Im high waisted and usually stay at about 28-29" there and my hips widen out to (right at this time)37-38"...that includes my rear,ya know,all the way around my hips and butt.
Sooo,when I buy pants I have to get them to fit over my hips and butt then the waist band is too damn big for my waist...so they slip down onto my hips and butt and annoy the hell out of me as they rub right across my hip bones...
Its so ridiculous!!!...
So,my pants settle at an angle from where my butt starts rounding out downward to my hips ,so it puts the waistband across my lower belly and because my lower belly is getting bigger I have to wear my pants with the button undone.
And like I said before....I will not and cannot pull these stupid pants up to my waist because, (1.the waistbands are way too big,and I would have to gather up a lot of material using a belt,which then cause all kinds of creases and folds,(2.it pulls the crotch way up tight against my perineum beside my hanging parts and looks reeeeeeally dumb,not to mention then my parts are even more obvious. BLAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!Its so frustrating trying to dress now.At home I just wear stretchy little light shorts.
HAHAHA...I just look at myself and laugh sometimes because its so funny that Ive changed quite a bit in a short time and it didnt seem like that much at first....soooo,I definitely need some new clothes.
Its just that I feel weird thinking of going to a store and buying womens clothes....Im not that female looking in my face quite yet.haha
I definitely want the clothes,thats not an issue, its just feeling weird about what people will think.
Hey,I just thought of something...Im going to try the Goodwill or Salvation army clothes stores....theres some good stuff and its cheap.
I guess I will be ordering stuff.....i like it and I hate it....because I cant try stuff on...thats crappy.
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 10:49 AM
well, without my new undergarments to keep things stored away, pulling my jeans up would also look silly on me and also be uncomfortable. But this way I am able to pull them up so they come up into my crotch properly rather than the pants crotch hanging 4-5 inches below my crotch, which makes it hard to walk/move around. I can't understand how those ghetto kids can wear their pants like they do, that's just retarded.
I find that I pull the waist of my pants and cinch them up over my pelvic bone, specifically the Ischium and pull my belt tight they will fit me in all the right places in all the right ways. That's several inches higher than where men usually where their jeans, men wear their jeans "hanging off their ass" so to speak. To me, that's extremely uncomfortable and highly annoying to me. I find it restrictive, it's hard to move because the crotch of the pants is then half way to my knees and it's WORSE than wearing a tight skirt.
When I first started wearing my jeans up higher like this I was sort of self conscious about it because now they actually fit my figure and you can see my shape. I'm no longer wearing a blue sack around my lower body, I'm wearing jeans that fit my form and make it more visible rather than hide and disguise it.
So now with my jeans that are cut for a woman and a higher rise than mens jeans, things ought to be even more interesting. I'm big, my waist is 38 but my hips are 45".. I just went and measured, it shocked me because I've put on an inch or two since I measured a few weeks ago. I also added an inch on my bust. Wow. That was sort of a surprise. I was sure I was gaining but don't measure and fret over it everyday.
I'm pleased. I guess it's only a matter of time before guys will be checking out my ass. Just wait until they get a load of me from the front! LOL!! Fugly thing alert!! Fugly thing alert!!
Yep. I rather surprised that I'm actually gaining in the fem places. I can definitely see things changing beyond any shadow of a doubt when I look at my body, I just try not to obsess over it. Each day that I gain is a good day. It's my nature to doubt myself, and for a long time when I first started this I was always thinking that nothing was happening, that I wasn't gaining, that I would never get there.
Now, I know that I can put those fears and doubts to rest. Things are happening. And I LIKE it..
It's sort of strange and a little scary, in a way, adjusting to my changes but I really find them to be deeply comforting and very emotionally rewarding. The more I feminize, the less I hate myself. At least until I look in the mirror and see that strange face.. But that's a whole different story.. I have to find a way to come up with the $$$$$ for FFS... Sigh... At least my body is coming into alignment with my brain.
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Fennel Fairy
(no login) Ok August 12 2007, 12:51 PM
I get it. Sort of. But I think the gestures people make when they talk, waving their hands about, is more of a cultural thing than a gender related thing. I don't use my hands at all when I talk to people (Scandinavian)while people in the southern part of Europe do - both men and women.
But I understand what you mean now, with the subtle feminine things and walking style etc.
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Anon
(no login) Trying on clothes August 12 2007, 3:46 PM
It sounds like your shape is definitely changing and thus you would have a legitimate need for differently designed clothes. I guess it is the same for a woman who never really rounded out on her bottom. She would be better off in male pants. So in your case Davilee, you may need womens slacks or jeans. The tough thing is finding one that isn't too female looking; you want a more subdued look, no flashy colors, stiching, etc. It should look like it could go both ways if possible.
Another concern, and Fennel can add some input here, is that female clothes may be lighter material. If so, coupled with a full bottom that fills the seat of the pant, you can see panty lines. Especially the gusset area of the panty. Mind you this is something that some women dislike, but most men find sexy.
I would also take advice from Morticia, I believe. Go to a store, like a Target, that sells male and female clothing in close proximity. Grab at least one or more male pants, and then some more neutral womens pants. Then when you go to the fitting room they won't notice. I did this with a male shirt and two sports bras. I was expecting a clothing "count" but they never did. And pants are more ambiguous anyhow.Should you catch a really sharp girl, and she questions it, just say you have problem fitting into clothes and this 'idea' crossed your mind. It's not like you are buying coral color pants with "Bratz" emblazoned on the botttom. You should be fine.
I am interested in seeing how they fit you.
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Anon
(no login) Google this and see that it is getting common August 12 2007, 3:48 PM
"men wearing womens pants"
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 7:53 PM
yep well my bottom is most definitely rounding/widening/filling out a more typical female shape.. YAY!!
Jeans made specifically for women are probably made with the female form in mind.
The jeans I got aren't all silly-frilly with fancy stitching or other adornments. They are just plain jeans.
You would probably have a hard time telling them from male jeans if they were folded and side by side.
I'm not trying to be "in your face" at all. I just want something that fits me better. I do have to admit that there's a small psychological satisfaction factor involved in my private knowledge that my jeans are for women and not men and that they actually fit me..
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) But I like Bratz.... August 13 2007, 6:31 AM
HAAAAHAHAHA!..hey Anon that was funny what ya said.
Yes I would feel silly buying something like that...
It wouldnt bother me to buy womens things....what do they care what I buy anyway...they should just be glad theyre selling something.
They'd think your just buying something for a gift probably.
Im just going to start wearing skirts.hahaha.....I keep saying that all the time anyway,i guess i should just get on with it already.
I saw an ad for mens skirts...well,they called them Kilts of course...the ad image was a tough biker guy wearing a kilt...yah right....he was shortly beaten into unconsciousness soon after the photo shoot by some other bikers.
Thats the one point that I dont like about womans clothes...they are usually tight fitting...I cant stand tight fit clothes around my pelvis and legs.
The best thing I like is the stretchy waist band,i wouldnt need a belt or anything,another positive point.....light,light,light
Thinner material is good..esp. for warm weather.
I wear shorts most of the time in the Summer,because summer is brutal here on the river.....but thats the trouble I was refering to...they're mens shorts...so no tapered fit, no stretch waist,low rise.
I will have to start wearing thin panties if Im going to wear tighter revealing pants and such....or not wear any underwear,except for a binder.
I can say I have to wear a dress because of a medical condition..HAHA
Thats not far from the truth.....
Thanks for the info, Anon.....
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 15 2007, 9:06 PM
Well this is interesting.
I'm now wearing women's jeans (yay!).. It's a first for me.
Back during my first transition attempt (89-91) I didn't wear pants, I wore dresses, skirts, etc.
So wearing women's jeans is new to me.. I'm playing it down a lot this time. No drama.
Anyway. I've discovered how BAD it looks to have a man's wallet in the hip pocket when you're wearing women's jeans. Ugh. Very ugly.
The other thing is, the pockets are pathetic. Not at all what I am used to in jeans.
Very small and shallow. Apparently you're supposed to keep stuff in your purse not your pockets.
Sort of a problem there for me because I'm a looooong way away from carrying a purse.
Maybe next year but not this year.
It's an odd experience. I like them, I like the way they feel and fit and look, very form fitting..
But very different from wearing mens jeans or generic jeans.
Oh and speaking of doing feminine things, because of the gains I've made overall, my lower half of my body has become very soft and fleshy, very, very much like a woman. I've noticed that when I walk I can actually feel my ass cheeks jiggle a little. Now THAT is an interesting feeling. I noticed today when I went out to the post office, bank and store that I was walking in a way that made my ass cheeks jiggle a little. It felt rather nice but then I panicked a bit when I realized I was walking in a feminine way and that I might draw attention to myself so I then had to try to stop doing that. It's not hard at all to do, I just sort of fall into it by nature I suppose. Damn. And wearing these form fitting, form enhancing jeans sort of pushes my GO button and puts me in the right frame of mind.
Be careful... It's really easy to fall into the lovely world of femininity. It's addictive. And it's GOOD.....
Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Oh yah.... August 16 2007, 2:28 AM
hehehe....Im having that same behavior,I automatically start walking with a rolling sway.....and then I catch myself...and try and walk like....What?..I dont know sometimes now....Im sort of losing my body memory of what my mannerisms are supposed to be.....I know it sounds ridiculous...but thats how it seems.
August 10 2007 at 4:17 AM Davilee (Login Davi-lee)
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Well,I have been recently catching myself walking differently.
Uhmmmm....I actually have to sometimes force myself to tone it down,when I notice.
It was kinda disconcerting at first....
But,it feels right and natural as my pelvis,hips,butt and legs have developed even more than they were already.
I was never a real masculine person anyway,so I guess I didnt have far to go once I have been hormone boosting.
Its hard sometimes to watch yourself and how you are acting....
My mannerisms have sort of morphed further also.
Feminine behavior just seems more normal.....I guess Its because Ive broke through the mental blockage several months ago, that I had for so long, and my T is being lowered even more.
Its true that raising estrogen will definitely change the way the mind works.
My only concern is,... Is it going to make my depression problem even worse at times?...I hope not but I should accept the possibility.
Author Reply
Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 10 2007, 5:10 AM
Absolutely.
I fought hard over the years to suppress my natural tendencies by behaving in a hyper masculine alpha male type way. It was my "disguise" to hide what was going on inside.
I've dropped that and they real me is coming out again. (I was "out" once before about 17 years ago)
I actually have to be careful about it now because I'm not really "out" yet. I'm currently projecting/presenting a gender neutral image. I'm not trying to be overtly feminine because people can tell when you're hamming it up so I try to tone it down and keep my feminine mannerisms in check for the most part.
The whole thing about my transition is is that it's a transition from male to female. Not a jump or change but a transition. So as my physical appearance changes and becomes more feminine I loosen up a little on my mannerisms and speech. I try to balance the way I behave to be in tune with the way I look.
I don't want to appear as a gay male because I'm not one and I don't want people to think I am.
It will take time and practice but I can do it. I did it once before and was living as a female (except for work)
Once my hair grows out (again) I'm sure I'll be getting called Ma'am once again. With the hair and the female body that is taking shape and my natural tendencies to behave in feminine ways, things will work out.
One of the things that I have to be really careful about is being around a bunch of women.
One place where I do computer work is owned and operated by women. All women. Except for the 3 gay guys.. When I am there working on their computers I'm in the beehive and surrounded by beautiful, powerful, intelligent women. And it is a very nice place to be. I LOVE being in the beehive. The place is dripping with estrogen. And if I'm stuck there too long I fall into step with them and I start emulating them in speech and mannerisms. It just feels normal and natural to me to be feminine. Problem is, what's on the outside doesn't currently jive with what's on the inside. So I have to be careful and keep things under control so people don't look at me and think something strange is going on.
My plan for transition is a slow and gradual shift of gender. Nothing sudden. That way the people I have to interact with will adjust more easily to small, subtle changes over a long time period.
Yeah it's tough to suppress what I am inside but I have to do it this way. I tried a sudden coming out once before and it was a disaster. Slow and easy this time.
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Blu-Jay
(no login) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 10 2007, 7:06 AM
OH YEAH! The truth is we don't notice that we do them. Other People notice them first. It's happened to me a few times where I'm doing something and someone will kind of tilt their head sideways,with the expression on their faces," huh! what the heck is with him"?
Yep!those subconscious mannerisms are kind of sneaky give aways that something is going on with you.Like I said before, They see them first.
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 11 2007, 2:21 PM
Heehee....yah,the problem Im quickly having it seems is my mind cant wait to kick my "genderneutral mannerisms" ass to the curb...HIT THE ROAD YA BUM!
I mean,its like slowly creeping out of my control.
I didnt expect my boosted hormones to ally with my unfettered girly mind and plot behind my back.
I have this tiny fear that one of these days Im going to just sort of be this other new version of me and it will seem perfectly fine and dandy.....I betcha i wont even care whats different..I wont notice it because my current foremind will have been waylaid and assimilated by the crafty babe in my head who is patiently biding her time.......
Thats one of the reasons I havent been buying girl clothes.....*whispering*...I dont want to encourage her anymore than she already is...girl stuff is just going to make her crazy......
Im on thin ice...Ive been thinking of getting a corset type thingy,to use for compressing my ribcage in....any of ya know a good place for something like that? I guess,I'll need the real deal corset not something that just poses as one and looks cute.
......must...not...buy....cute...discounted....sundresses....that.....come with... matching.. hats....a aaaaa aaagh
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Fennel Fairy
(no login) Erm... August 11 2007, 11:18 PM
I don't quite understand the term "feminine mannerisms". What comes to mind is the exaggerated behaviour that gay men have. I am not aware of any particular feminine mannerism of my own even though I am female. I'd better check my body parts once again to make sure I'm not a guy...
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 12:26 AM
Well, I think what we are trying to say here is that if you watch men and women side by side, women are very expressive with their hands, when they talk, how they move, more fluid in their movements, etc.. Body language in other words. Men in general don't use the same or even similar body language and movements, men are stiff and unexpressive and robotic.
I'm not talking about gay males, I've seen them and you are correct, they exaggerate their body language to a large degree, it's very obvious how they behave, walk, use their hands, speak, etc... Spotting a gay male is not a hard thing to do, they usually out themselves in a matter of seconds.
What I'm saying is that in my case, I take on the more subtle motions and movements and mannerisms and body language of a typical woman. I don't exaggerate or consciously try to act feminine, I just do it. A casual observer might notice that I am effeminate in my ways, that I show a more feminine way than masculine way of interacting with the world.
When I am around women I feel more relaxed and I don't try to act macho, I just more or less fall into step and casually sort of "fit in" with the flow of things.
When I was in high school I hung out with a bunch of girls. We went everywhere together, we partied together, hung out together, I mean we were a tight knit little group. They totally treated me as an absolute equal in everyway. I was just one of the girls. It was great. I didn't have to put on any fake fronts, I was just me and they totally treated me exactly the same as the rest of the girls. I miss that. That was about the only time in my life that I felt comfortable about being me.
I wasn't "out" then, I wasn't anything. I was just one of the gang. I was just me. If I acted effeminate (and I did) not a single one of them cared at all. I didn't have to impress anyone or be anything special to anyone. We just hung out and had fun. We lived to have fun. We drove around in a 1968 VW drinking Boone's Farm strawberry wine and laughing our asses off.
Those were good times.
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 12:51 AM
I was just being outlandish with my post there for comedy value.....
My reference to female mannerisms is just about certain ways of moving and gesturing and such....
Dont you notice the particular ways women move,many are very subtle?....thats why they're female attributes,subtle and understated.Smoother motions.Softer in method of engaging with everything,typically.
Guys lack subtlety in movement and gesture generally.
What I was saying about myself in that last entry was sort of embellishing for being funny...
I dont really have a separate girly mind as such,...I feel that its my main mindset actually...I just have repressed many characteristics most of the time.
That is what I was refering to as my "gender neutral",mannerisms....Morticia knows what Im talking about.....
Its like I feel that the "non female" mannerisms are the actual affectation,I feel like Im acting "male" sometimes....even though I dont act at all like a typical guy.I dont feel at all like a guy either....except for the sensations of my organs in front between my legs moving around.
In my life Ive always been either repulsed by my genitals or to "the other end of spectrum", I like the sensations that they produce and am attracted by the way it looks and am attracted to guys because I like penises.....
Its like Ive been a female in a previous life and Im just trying out a male body this time around....
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 1:31 AM
I too despise my plumbing and it causes me much grief and anguish and annoyment. (is that a word?)
Those things down there cause me a lot of physical discomfort and a tremendous amount of emotional grief.
To look down and see that down there is distressing to say the least.
And there is nothing more annoying on the face of this planet or in the known universe than to have the damn things always in the way. I spend like 90% of my waking hours trying to readjust the damn things so that I'm not in distress and discomfort. I can not sit, stand, walk, lay down, run or breath without them causing me discomfort. It's like having a half dozen pissed off alley cats in a burlap bag.
Well, I finally, finally got some relief! I found an under garment that fits in such a marvelous way!
It completely solves the problem. Well, not really but it makes it very, very tolerable.
It keeps everything up and out of they way and it actually makes me feel as if there is no longer anything down there. It even looks as if there is nothing down there anymore. I can pull my jeans up snug now so they *FIT* like they should and don't hang off my ass like men wear them. My jeans finally fit right and comfortably. No more fighting with them all the time. No more constant readjusting. Everything just fits and feels good, for once in my life. It's such a wonderful feeling to have nothing between my legs. It's such a comfortable feeling, it's like a new found freedom! I am sooooo much going to enjoy having my pink kitty and being rid forever of these annoying damn things. I can't wait until there's *really* nothing between my legs.
Here's what it looks like.
http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w279/...c54b73.jpg
That is NOT me in the picture. I WISH it was.. Anway, it's made out of some pretty sturdy stuff, I forget exactly what but it's very strong elastic. And the built in waist cincher is hook & eye. I wish that it was a little tighter. I may buy a sewing machine and take it in some so it pulls tighter around my waist. But over all, it's a wonderful fit, extremely comfortable and best of all, it keeps things put up and out of the way so that I feel free at last from those horribly annoying things. It's a very, very nice feeling to feel *nothing between my legs* !!
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 2:10 AM
Oh, I didnt see your post before I submitted my last one before your last two .....YES....that is good description...to explain what we are talking about....ya know,I guess sometimes people have a hard time picking up on mannerisms associated with those of their own sex.
I just am a person who observes people closely and I try to pay attention to how Im behaving.Im facinated by learning how to "read" peoples gestures and behavior.
What I said in my one post above about my mind.....I wasnt joking about the parts when I said that I feel like Im slowly allowing my feminine aspects to come to the fore.Its like now I dont feel like hiding myself anymore.
Yah,what you said about gay men and their mannerisms.That crazy overthetop type behavior is not appealing. I definitely,am not acting like that.
I actually only slightly alter how I normally behave and my mannerisms.
Thats what I meant when I said that its so easy for me to slip over,because I have always been closer to feminine behavior and movement anyway.
I have always been teased by my friends about how much I use my hands and cannot talk without moving my arms and hands......and they have always kinda teased me about the way I walk....I sort of walk smooth yet bouncy and step lightly you know not plodding/stomping,and swing my arms a lot as I go.I always am looking around as I walk,looking at the sky...watching birds....watching other people.....
Yah,what you said about "hanging parts",indeed that is what I was thinking the other day....that I was getting frustrated by my parts sticking out and keeping my pants from laying right along my body...I thought i was going to cry about it again the other day.....
That would be so nice to be smooth along my front and crotch....wow then I could wear many things and not have to hide my parts or feel like I had an unnatural lump sticking out that I was ashamed of...
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 8:51 AM
"Yah,what you said about "hanging parts",indeed that is what I was thinking the other day....that I was getting frustrated by my parts sticking out and keeping my pants from laying right along my body...I thought i was going to cry about it again the other day.....
That would be so nice to be smooth along my front and crotch....wow then I could wear many things and not have to hide my parts or feel like I had an unnatural lump sticking out that I was ashamed of... "
Yep.. Same here. I said I wasn't going to do it but once again I have gone against my own word.
I bought me a few pairs of ladies jeans. YAY!! I bought some with a higher rise (I don't like low riders or hip huggers) so that they will fit me better. I got straight leg style so that might make my ass look a little wider. Oh and they are stretch too..
And so it goes as I *knew* it would. Despite my denials I spiral faster and faster into my femininity, caught up in the whirlwind.
So anything I say that I will never do, give me a month and I'll be doing it.
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) About pants.... August 12 2007, 9:59 AM
Yah,...ooooh i think the stretch pants would be super.
I know Ive said this before but....the stupid mens pants are completely wrong for me and always have been....
Heres the problem....Im high waisted and usually stay at about 28-29" there and my hips widen out to (right at this time)37-38"...that includes my rear,ya know,all the way around my hips and butt.
Sooo,when I buy pants I have to get them to fit over my hips and butt then the waist band is too damn big for my waist...so they slip down onto my hips and butt and annoy the hell out of me as they rub right across my hip bones...
Its so ridiculous!!!...
So,my pants settle at an angle from where my butt starts rounding out downward to my hips ,so it puts the waistband across my lower belly and because my lower belly is getting bigger I have to wear my pants with the button undone.
And like I said before....I will not and cannot pull these stupid pants up to my waist because, (1.the waistbands are way too big,and I would have to gather up a lot of material using a belt,which then cause all kinds of creases and folds,(2.it pulls the crotch way up tight against my perineum beside my hanging parts and looks reeeeeeally dumb,not to mention then my parts are even more obvious. BLAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!Its so frustrating trying to dress now.At home I just wear stretchy little light shorts.
HAHAHA...I just look at myself and laugh sometimes because its so funny that Ive changed quite a bit in a short time and it didnt seem like that much at first....soooo,I definitely need some new clothes.
Its just that I feel weird thinking of going to a store and buying womens clothes....Im not that female looking in my face quite yet.haha
I definitely want the clothes,thats not an issue, its just feeling weird about what people will think.
Hey,I just thought of something...Im going to try the Goodwill or Salvation army clothes stores....theres some good stuff and its cheap.
I guess I will be ordering stuff.....i like it and I hate it....because I cant try stuff on...thats crappy.
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 10:49 AM
well, without my new undergarments to keep things stored away, pulling my jeans up would also look silly on me and also be uncomfortable. But this way I am able to pull them up so they come up into my crotch properly rather than the pants crotch hanging 4-5 inches below my crotch, which makes it hard to walk/move around. I can't understand how those ghetto kids can wear their pants like they do, that's just retarded.
I find that I pull the waist of my pants and cinch them up over my pelvic bone, specifically the Ischium and pull my belt tight they will fit me in all the right places in all the right ways. That's several inches higher than where men usually where their jeans, men wear their jeans "hanging off their ass" so to speak. To me, that's extremely uncomfortable and highly annoying to me. I find it restrictive, it's hard to move because the crotch of the pants is then half way to my knees and it's WORSE than wearing a tight skirt.
When I first started wearing my jeans up higher like this I was sort of self conscious about it because now they actually fit my figure and you can see my shape. I'm no longer wearing a blue sack around my lower body, I'm wearing jeans that fit my form and make it more visible rather than hide and disguise it.
So now with my jeans that are cut for a woman and a higher rise than mens jeans, things ought to be even more interesting. I'm big, my waist is 38 but my hips are 45".. I just went and measured, it shocked me because I've put on an inch or two since I measured a few weeks ago. I also added an inch on my bust. Wow. That was sort of a surprise. I was sure I was gaining but don't measure and fret over it everyday.
I'm pleased.
I guess it's only a matter of time before guys will be checking out my ass. Just wait until they get a load of me from the front! LOL!! Fugly thing alert!! Fugly thing alert!! Yep. I rather surprised that I'm actually gaining in the fem places. I can definitely see things changing beyond any shadow of a doubt when I look at my body, I just try not to obsess over it. Each day that I gain is a good day. It's my nature to doubt myself, and for a long time when I first started this I was always thinking that nothing was happening, that I wasn't gaining, that I would never get there.
Now, I know that I can put those fears and doubts to rest. Things are happening. And I LIKE it..
It's sort of strange and a little scary, in a way, adjusting to my changes but I really find them to be deeply comforting and very emotionally rewarding. The more I feminize, the less I hate myself. At least until I look in the mirror and see that strange face.. But that's a whole different story.. I have to find a way to come up with the $$$$$ for FFS... Sigh... At least my body is coming into alignment with my brain.
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Fennel Fairy
(no login) Ok August 12 2007, 12:51 PM
I get it. Sort of. But I think the gestures people make when they talk, waving their hands about, is more of a cultural thing than a gender related thing. I don't use my hands at all when I talk to people (Scandinavian)while people in the southern part of Europe do - both men and women.
But I understand what you mean now, with the subtle feminine things and walking style etc.
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Anon
(no login) Trying on clothes August 12 2007, 3:46 PM
It sounds like your shape is definitely changing and thus you would have a legitimate need for differently designed clothes. I guess it is the same for a woman who never really rounded out on her bottom. She would be better off in male pants. So in your case Davilee, you may need womens slacks or jeans. The tough thing is finding one that isn't too female looking; you want a more subdued look, no flashy colors, stiching, etc. It should look like it could go both ways if possible.
Another concern, and Fennel can add some input here, is that female clothes may be lighter material. If so, coupled with a full bottom that fills the seat of the pant, you can see panty lines. Especially the gusset area of the panty. Mind you this is something that some women dislike, but most men find sexy.
I would also take advice from Morticia, I believe. Go to a store, like a Target, that sells male and female clothing in close proximity. Grab at least one or more male pants, and then some more neutral womens pants. Then when you go to the fitting room they won't notice. I did this with a male shirt and two sports bras. I was expecting a clothing "count" but they never did. And pants are more ambiguous anyhow.Should you catch a really sharp girl, and she questions it, just say you have problem fitting into clothes and this 'idea' crossed your mind. It's not like you are buying coral color pants with "Bratz" emblazoned on the botttom. You should be fine.
I am interested in seeing how they fit you.
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Anon
(no login) Google this and see that it is getting common August 12 2007, 3:48 PM
"men wearing womens pants"
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 12 2007, 7:53 PM
yep well my bottom is most definitely rounding/widening/filling out a more typical female shape..
YAY!!Jeans made specifically for women are probably made with the female form in mind.
The jeans I got aren't all silly-frilly with fancy stitching or other adornments. They are just plain jeans.
You would probably have a hard time telling them from male jeans if they were folded and side by side.
I'm not trying to be "in your face" at all. I just want something that fits me better. I do have to admit that there's a small psychological satisfaction factor involved in my private knowledge that my jeans are for women and not men and that they actually fit me..
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Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) But I like Bratz.... August 13 2007, 6:31 AM
HAAAAHAHAHA!..hey Anon that was funny what ya said.
Yes I would feel silly buying something like that...
It wouldnt bother me to buy womens things....what do they care what I buy anyway...they should just be glad theyre selling something.
They'd think your just buying something for a gift probably.
Im just going to start wearing skirts.hahaha.....I keep saying that all the time anyway,i guess i should just get on with it already.
I saw an ad for mens skirts...well,they called them Kilts of course...the ad image was a tough biker guy wearing a kilt...yah right....he was shortly beaten into unconsciousness soon after the photo shoot by some other bikers.
Thats the one point that I dont like about womans clothes...they are usually tight fitting...I cant stand tight fit clothes around my pelvis and legs.
The best thing I like is the stretchy waist band,i wouldnt need a belt or anything,another positive point.....light,light,light
Thinner material is good..esp. for warm weather.
I wear shorts most of the time in the Summer,because summer is brutal here on the river.....but thats the trouble I was refering to...they're mens shorts...so no tapered fit, no stretch waist,low rise.
I will have to start wearing thin panties if Im going to wear tighter revealing pants and such....or not wear any underwear,except for a binder.
I can say I have to wear a dress because of a medical condition..HAHA
Thats not far from the truth.....
Thanks for the info, Anon.....
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Morticia
(Login moonstruck61) Re: Do you catch yourself doing feminine actions and mannerisms unconsciously August 15 2007, 9:06 PM
Well this is interesting.
I'm now wearing women's jeans (yay!).. It's a first for me.
Back during my first transition attempt (89-91) I didn't wear pants, I wore dresses, skirts, etc.
So wearing women's jeans is new to me.. I'm playing it down a lot this time. No drama.
Anyway. I've discovered how BAD it looks to have a man's wallet in the hip pocket when you're wearing women's jeans. Ugh. Very ugly.
The other thing is, the pockets are pathetic. Not at all what I am used to in jeans.
Very small and shallow. Apparently you're supposed to keep stuff in your purse not your pockets.
Sort of a problem there for me because I'm a looooong way away from carrying a purse.
Maybe next year but not this year.
It's an odd experience. I like them, I like the way they feel and fit and look, very form fitting..
But very different from wearing mens jeans or generic jeans.
Oh and speaking of doing feminine things, because of the gains I've made overall, my lower half of my body has become very soft and fleshy, very, very much like a woman. I've noticed that when I walk I can actually feel my ass cheeks jiggle a little. Now THAT is an interesting feeling. I noticed today when I went out to the post office, bank and store that I was walking in a way that made my ass cheeks jiggle a little. It felt rather nice but then I panicked a bit when I realized I was walking in a feminine way and that I might draw attention to myself so I then had to try to stop doing that. It's not hard at all to do, I just sort of fall into it by nature I suppose. Damn. And wearing these form fitting, form enhancing jeans sort of pushes my GO button and puts me in the right frame of mind.
Be careful... It's really easy to fall into the lovely world of femininity. It's addictive. And it's GOOD.....
Davilee
(Login Davi-lee) Oh yah.... August 16 2007, 2:28 AM
hehehe....Im having that same behavior,I automatically start walking with a rolling sway.....and then I catch myself...and try and walk like....What?..I dont know sometimes now....Im sort of losing my body memory of what my mannerisms are supposed to be.....I know it sounds ridiculous...but thats how it seems.