[flamesabers]

I think the tales told by Flame and Clara are common, and shared by many., myself included. How do you feel now, with all the research provided by this board, learning that what we are doing is, essentially, though certainly slower, the same process as is to be expected through a doctor prescribed course of synthetic hormones?
What I am getting at is this ...was it not wanting or being financially able to, or even mentally being able to accept, the desire to go through the path of seeing a doctor, with the required visits to a counselor/therapist? Or was it the thought that somehow the herbal route was less of a definite admission to either the world or yourself, that you wanted to pursue some form of partial or full transition, and herbs seemed a baby step you could accept? Or was it that you felt there was a real way to simply grow breasts and not be interested in anything else? Or what?

Samantha, (I like the name by the way, it reminds me of my favorite character on Stargate SG-1).

I think my motives are more practical than personal. Unless I just happen to find a doctor who is open-minded and experienced with transgender patients, I suspect the options I'll be given are either full transition or just counseling with no hormones or anything. It's a bit of a waste I think, both with my money and the doctor's time to have an appointment and be in the exact same boat I was prior to seeing him/her. Have you ever gone to a doctor and feel they don't know anything more (or even less) about your condition than you do and that any advice they've given to you is common sense or you could have figured it out on your own? This is how I feel about seeing a doctor about my gender identity. Other than prescribing hormones, I'm doubtful how much help they would be. Even if I did get hormones, I would have to follow the doctor's orders, unlike being able to self-experiment with NBE herbs like pm. Imagine if pm was a prescription med! I doubt very few doctors would have been okay with me taking unusually high doses (such as 4,000 mg per day) as I have before.

Counseling may be of some benefit, but I'm concerned my 'transgender mentality' will be regarded as a disorder like depression, anorexia and bipolar. People typically go to counseling because they have a problem. I don't have a problem with my androgynous gender identity, and perhaps unlike other atypical mental patterns, it's self-correcting and self-healing rather than self-destructive. As I have mentioned in prior posts, I have struggled with depression in the past. THAT's a problem in my mind that I really benefit seeing a therapist for, not having an atypical gender identity.

I haven't been keeping up with the latest DSM, but as far as I know it still divides transgender individuals into two camps: those who want to pursue a full transition and eventually SRS, and those who are much more satisfied with just dressing up and such with no serious interest in taking hormones. I don't think I belong to either group.

A question I have for you and anyone else reading this is would you go see a doctor if you wanted to eat a healthier diet and lose some weight by exercising? There's merit I think to be argued for either approach. If you're sickly and have a life-threatening health condition, consulting a doctor is probably a good idea before changing your diet and engaging in the stress of physical exercise. If though you're reasonably healthy, the amount of benefit to be gained by consulting a doctor first substantially declines I think.