[flamesabers]

One thing that is very obvious to me and my wife is how much time I devote to my female gender these days. I spend way more time on it than I did on fantasy masturbation in the past. Am I just making up for lost time? Will things settle down to a stable mixed gender routine eventually?

Maybe your increased interest has to do with your pursuit of NBE? In other words, the more you pursue gender-related interests, the more likely it is for you to fulfill your ultimate goal, whatever it may be.

Something is missing, and I don't know what it is. It's not enough to develop breasts. It's not enough to dress as a woman, don a wig, and makeup my face to appear more feminine. It's not enough that my wife is understanding and supportive of my crossgender ways. This situation is beginning to bother me, and so, in that respect, I'm still experiencing mental discomfort, a kind of mild dysphoria or dissonance.

Do any of you guys/girls have similar feelings now or in the past? What have you done to address those feelings? Is this a sign that further transitioning is needed? As we integrate our female genders into our lifestyles, shouldn't there be a sense of relief and empowerment as the process goes forward?

Can you identify the source of your dysphoria? Do you want to live as a female full-time and be recognized and acknowledged as such? Is it also about feeling the urgency to get SRS?

I do agree with you about feeling relief as you get further along the path. This might be a shot totally from left field, but maybe your dysphoria is the result of initial expectations of what would happen once you started on the path of NBE and dressing up? Phrased differently, imagine a generic situation in which a person thinks if he can achieve x,y, and z, his life will be dramatically better. He achieves his goals, but then still feels unhappy, perhaps as a result of putting too much emotional investment into how much better his life should have been after he completed his goals.

Maybe it would help to reassess your goals and reflect on where you would like to be as far as gender identity and expression? Do you think your dysphoria is better or worse when you're in female or male mode? Do you feel your heart sink when someone calls you a man or refer to you as a male? Would you like it if your wife and others call you Clara?

As to whether I've experienced similar feelings, I'm reminded by what you said about me earlier:

Flame, dear, you don't strike me as one who suffers even an ounce of dysphoria concerning your gender identity.