[GoneGirl]

Thanks, Michelle and Flame for responding with two very different perspectives. I would agree, Michelle, that we are similar in that we are both working on a jigsaw puzzle without a picture to guide us. Flame, you raise some interesting and useful points that I've been pondering. I envy your assuredness in your gender identity.

I seem to bounce between euphoria and dysphoria as an MTF transgender. When I immerse myself in the feminine, it lights me up with a joy that's hard to describe. Then, at the end of the day, I return to the world I really live in, the fantasy subsides, and the futility of it all kicks in.

Still, I plug on. I tell myself to be patient; that I'm new to this. I need to explore the depths of my gender identity for awhile yet before an answer emerges.

One thing I'm sure of is that I don't want to go back. That encourages me to keep looking forward, to finding the right balance. Some of you have been dealing with your gender issues for years. Does my condition seem to fit a pattern? Is there eventually a resolution to the conflict? What was the key to your finding that balance?

Clara