08-03-2014, 08:10 PM
This discussion is very interesting to me. It seems that both of you (Kari and Flame) arrived at where you are today through an evolutionary process that spanned a considerable time. That's encouraging.
Kari Leigh, you described a progression in your gender awakening that strikes a chord with me, and gives me hope that contradictions will be resolved in the course of time. I think it was Patti who warned that in the early stages of addressing one's gender confliction, the compulsions of M&P can give way to the compulsions to feminize and to cross dress. Moving beyond both phases is necessary to find true peace.
MissC, I never thought that transitioning would make my life better. I know that sounds contradictory, but it's true. Before starting NBE, I did a lot of reading about GID, as the condition was once known. I learned that, as often as not, transition brings nothing but false promise and heartache to those of us who have this medical condition. And, it IS a medical condition in most cases, not a sexual fetish, not a disorder of the mind that can be "corrected" with the right psychologist's intervention. The established treatments aim to lessen the dyphoria. I'm not sure how many completely eliminate anxiety, especially those who transition late in life.
Flame, I'm not sure what you mean by a "male ego". Do you mean arrogance, self-assuredness, and self-importance? I'm not sure I know how male-ego differs from female-ego. These characteristics are shared by both men and women. Women may hide their egos so as not to appear bossy or bitchy (one of society's female no-nos), but underneath the deferential facade, can lie a most self-seeking individual. It might help me to explain that.
I like your philosophy, Flame, and would like to emulate it, but knowing that you started your journey at age 16 makes me wonder if that's possible. It seems that you have come to a point in life where your gender has been confirmed or affirmed, and maybe that IS the ultimate solution. Everyone I know, except my wife, knows me as a normal male, not the gender-variant person that I truly am. So I continue to live in a gender purgatory, neither here nor there, not knowing to which side I will end up.
Clara
Kari Leigh, you described a progression in your gender awakening that strikes a chord with me, and gives me hope that contradictions will be resolved in the course of time. I think it was Patti who warned that in the early stages of addressing one's gender confliction, the compulsions of M&P can give way to the compulsions to feminize and to cross dress. Moving beyond both phases is necessary to find true peace.
MissC, I never thought that transitioning would make my life better. I know that sounds contradictory, but it's true. Before starting NBE, I did a lot of reading about GID, as the condition was once known. I learned that, as often as not, transition brings nothing but false promise and heartache to those of us who have this medical condition. And, it IS a medical condition in most cases, not a sexual fetish, not a disorder of the mind that can be "corrected" with the right psychologist's intervention. The established treatments aim to lessen the dyphoria. I'm not sure how many completely eliminate anxiety, especially those who transition late in life.
Flame, I'm not sure what you mean by a "male ego". Do you mean arrogance, self-assuredness, and self-importance? I'm not sure I know how male-ego differs from female-ego. These characteristics are shared by both men and women. Women may hide their egos so as not to appear bossy or bitchy (one of society's female no-nos), but underneath the deferential facade, can lie a most self-seeking individual. It might help me to explain that.
I like your philosophy, Flame, and would like to emulate it, but knowing that you started your journey at age 16 makes me wonder if that's possible. It seems that you have come to a point in life where your gender has been confirmed or affirmed, and maybe that IS the ultimate solution. Everyone I know, except my wife, knows me as a normal male, not the gender-variant person that I truly am. So I continue to live in a gender purgatory, neither here nor there, not knowing to which side I will end up.
Clara