Hi Hurricane,
Sammie's post is a tough act to follow, and I concur with everything she's written. I have had very similar experiences throughout my life. But I'll add my own response for what it's worth to you.
You're on the rough unpaved, pothole strewn part of your journey; things can get very confusing at this stage. Expect lots of bobbing and weaving as things progress. Most of all, keep your chin up, things will improve.
The return of the edginess and angry moods, the desire to masturbate, the loss of breast soreness and growth buds after what looked like your program was working so well is not that unusual, but at 3000 mg of PM, your breast growth should be in full swing. Have you changed PM or started on a new supply of PM recently? There's no guarantee that a new bottle of PM will be as effective as the last.
Have you tried to vary your dosage or taken a cold turkey break? Your body may be counteracting the effects of the PM. Shaking things up can sometimes help get things going or back on track.
Your recent symptoms indicate that your T-levels are still quite high. You may have high T-levels naturally. Ever had it tested?
You say you have a strong male gender identity. Maybe so. Just be aware that adding estrogen to one's body in that case can cause more mental distress, as your body is starved for T. That doesn't seem to apply to you, but it might become a factor if you find you do not suffer from gender dysphoria, but dysphoria from other causes.
Your desires to crossdress could be a sexual fetish, rather than gender identity expression. I'm not saying it is, but you should know of that possibility. Is the crossdressing always associated with erotic sensations? If so, it doesn't mean you are a crossdresser fetishist. My early crossdressing was all focused on sexual arousal, but no longer.
It's hard to say what the best course of action is at this point. If I were in your position, I would try varying my program, but if you do, be patient. It takes time for things to work. A brief bounce to 3500 or 4000 mg of PM might tell you something. Be sure to distribute the dose over the day to avoid kidney stress and other possible bad reactions. Back off if it doesn't feel right. I'm not crazy about SP as an anti-androgen, it can work for or against you, so I'd try something else like Spearmint leaf in capsules or as a tea. I use Pygeum from Swanson's. The FAQ lists others.
As Sammie said, we're here to help you as much as we can. I'll extend to you an invitation to PM me, as well.
Good luck, hon.
Clara
Sammie's post is a tough act to follow, and I concur with everything she's written. I have had very similar experiences throughout my life. But I'll add my own response for what it's worth to you.
You're on the rough unpaved, pothole strewn part of your journey; things can get very confusing at this stage. Expect lots of bobbing and weaving as things progress. Most of all, keep your chin up, things will improve.
The return of the edginess and angry moods, the desire to masturbate, the loss of breast soreness and growth buds after what looked like your program was working so well is not that unusual, but at 3000 mg of PM, your breast growth should be in full swing. Have you changed PM or started on a new supply of PM recently? There's no guarantee that a new bottle of PM will be as effective as the last.
Have you tried to vary your dosage or taken a cold turkey break? Your body may be counteracting the effects of the PM. Shaking things up can sometimes help get things going or back on track.
Your recent symptoms indicate that your T-levels are still quite high. You may have high T-levels naturally. Ever had it tested?
You say you have a strong male gender identity. Maybe so. Just be aware that adding estrogen to one's body in that case can cause more mental distress, as your body is starved for T. That doesn't seem to apply to you, but it might become a factor if you find you do not suffer from gender dysphoria, but dysphoria from other causes.
Your desires to crossdress could be a sexual fetish, rather than gender identity expression. I'm not saying it is, but you should know of that possibility. Is the crossdressing always associated with erotic sensations? If so, it doesn't mean you are a crossdresser fetishist. My early crossdressing was all focused on sexual arousal, but no longer.
It's hard to say what the best course of action is at this point. If I were in your position, I would try varying my program, but if you do, be patient. It takes time for things to work. A brief bounce to 3500 or 4000 mg of PM might tell you something. Be sure to distribute the dose over the day to avoid kidney stress and other possible bad reactions. Back off if it doesn't feel right. I'm not crazy about SP as an anti-androgen, it can work for or against you, so I'd try something else like Spearmint leaf in capsules or as a tea. I use Pygeum from Swanson's. The FAQ lists others.
As Sammie said, we're here to help you as much as we can. I'll extend to you an invitation to PM me, as well.
Good luck, hon.
Clara