[GoneGirl]

I know I'm coming very late to this party , but wanted to go back and throw in my two cents on this.

A few weeks ago, I posted the question of whether stress could elevate T levels, because I was behaving as my "old self". In looking back, and in light of this post, I'm inclined to think it was just my masculine persona stepping up to handle things as I always have, maybe nothing more.

With this all still being pretty novel to me, I'm still getting used to thinking that I've got these two personas, and it's not unusual for one to take charge if it feels it needs to. The trick is to try to keep that dynamic balance (dynamic because it's constantly changing) between the two, right?

Michelle

Michelle, I know that you and I have similar backgrounds and experiences. We both became consciously aware of our female gender identities late in life. It's not like we were aware of this side of our personalities all along, and elected to fore go taking action for the sake of our families, careers, etc. That part of us only made its presence known subconsciously in ways that often interfered with our quality of life.

For me, that's a clear signal that our female genders are not dominant. We will always be kind and sensitive men, and live as such on a daily basis. But, having concluded that, I'm not saying that our inner woman can simply be ignored. It's best to acknowledge it, discover her need for expression, take steps to create a safe, guilt-free environment within which she can be fulfilled. We owe it to ourselves to do that.

Any ongoing, but lessened, discomfort will be the consequence of the compromise we have to accept as bi-gendered. Speaking for myself, Clara will always strive to be a better woman physically and emotionally, but she will be held back by immovable barriers like my male physique, my age, and the expectations of those I love and have committed my life to. She will be frustrated at not being able to seek validation through public acceptance of her existence. And yet, if I were to give in to all of Clara's demands, I know that my inner man will raise a fuss equally loud and insistent.

It's almost like I'm married to two women. I've learned to live with and love my DW. Our marriage has stood the test of time. Now I'm tasked with doing the same with my IW (inner woman). Wish me luck, and I'll do the same for you, Michelle.

Clara