09-04-2014, 06:51 AM
A fascinating account of your struggle to realize your sexual and gender identity, Annie. I'm always impressed with the eloquence and thoroughness of your postings.
Since you are a bit older than I, I was somewhat surprised at your expectation that your sex education should come from a parent, or that a school principal would undertake that responsibility, however badly. My knowledge of sex was strictly picked up from school yard sharing of raunchy stories, nude photos, and reproductive 'facts' distorted beyond recognition. I recall when I first learned of the role the sex act plays in human reproduction (where do babies come from, Mommy?), I couldn't believe that it applied to my parents, as well. It was a time when one could not describe an expectant mother as being 'pregnant'. The code word was 'PG' or in a 'family way'. LOL! Even using the word 'sex' in a conversation was not proper amongst polite company. It's a wonder that any of us kids grew up with anything like a healthy attitude and reasonably accurate knowledge of human sexuality?
Those of us who took education seriously, and had access to, and bothered to read, books on sex authored by professionals of medicine and psychology, usually came away no less confused and/or misguided about our own sex lives. No one seemed capable of being objective about the matter. Although things have opened up quite a bit lately, I'm not sure people are any better able to deal with their sexual hangups or any perceived deviation from what's considered 'normal' or acceptable behavior.
My attitude toward sex over the past several months has changed a lot. I no longer believe that human sexuality is a moral issue. How one's sexuality manifests itself can, like other behaviors, be a constructive or a destructive force in one's life, but it should not be judged out of context. So, for example, the use of pornography and masturbation as a form of sexual gratification is not intrinsically immoral. But, it could become a destructive force in one's life if it becomes an impediment to establishing a more satisfying relationship with another person. In another context it might be the only available or acceptable means to relieve sexual tension. I used to think that openly gay people served as encouragement for youngsters to embrace homosexuality themselves. But, today I understand that no one can make you gay if you are not wired as such. From a human rights standpoint, there is no 'correct' sexual orientation, nor a 'correct' gender identity. The fact that this is becoming more and more widely accepted is evidence that attitudes about sex do change over time.
Clara
Since you are a bit older than I, I was somewhat surprised at your expectation that your sex education should come from a parent, or that a school principal would undertake that responsibility, however badly. My knowledge of sex was strictly picked up from school yard sharing of raunchy stories, nude photos, and reproductive 'facts' distorted beyond recognition. I recall when I first learned of the role the sex act plays in human reproduction (where do babies come from, Mommy?), I couldn't believe that it applied to my parents, as well. It was a time when one could not describe an expectant mother as being 'pregnant'. The code word was 'PG' or in a 'family way'. LOL! Even using the word 'sex' in a conversation was not proper amongst polite company. It's a wonder that any of us kids grew up with anything like a healthy attitude and reasonably accurate knowledge of human sexuality?
Those of us who took education seriously, and had access to, and bothered to read, books on sex authored by professionals of medicine and psychology, usually came away no less confused and/or misguided about our own sex lives. No one seemed capable of being objective about the matter. Although things have opened up quite a bit lately, I'm not sure people are any better able to deal with their sexual hangups or any perceived deviation from what's considered 'normal' or acceptable behavior.
My attitude toward sex over the past several months has changed a lot. I no longer believe that human sexuality is a moral issue. How one's sexuality manifests itself can, like other behaviors, be a constructive or a destructive force in one's life, but it should not be judged out of context. So, for example, the use of pornography and masturbation as a form of sexual gratification is not intrinsically immoral. But, it could become a destructive force in one's life if it becomes an impediment to establishing a more satisfying relationship with another person. In another context it might be the only available or acceptable means to relieve sexual tension. I used to think that openly gay people served as encouragement for youngsters to embrace homosexuality themselves. But, today I understand that no one can make you gay if you are not wired as such. From a human rights standpoint, there is no 'correct' sexual orientation, nor a 'correct' gender identity. The fact that this is becoming more and more widely accepted is evidence that attitudes about sex do change over time.
Clara