12-05-2014, 01:15 AM
Honey you have to keep in mind Im a very lucky girl and an extreme case here...
I dont have kids, never married and Im loaded, been dreaming of everything Im doing for a LONG time now...
I "retired" at 39... I havent worked a day since but I will SOON but it will be whatever job I can get as a woman.... Lucky for me I dont even need the $$$ YET.... I need to do it to validate myself to myself and to LIVE not so much monetarily but just as myself.... I WILL get there too...
I had A LOT of internal conflict to reach the decision I came to, I was obviously very successful as a man to "retire" at 39, Im 45 now... But once I got through all that in my head there was no going back for me before any of this NBE or HRT or coming out or going full time started really....
It all started when I made the decision to go for it, and small steps keep getting bigger....
I dont know you but I get that most here are older and married with kids... I dont know if you are or not but to me thats definitely a big consideration considering the commitments made.... I personally was never cut out for it and Im glad I never went there, makes things so much easier now...
Even for someone like me with everything going for her its NOT the easiest thing to just throw away a whole 1/2 a life lived very successfully as a male...
Granted I WAS miserable as a man by then but still, easier said than done..... I had so many times I put "her" away and resolved to just be "normal"...
I dont know how long you've been on NBE either.... But from what Ive read here and experienced myself its pretty normal to go back underground and bury all this out of guilt and shame...
Thats about all I have on this, the fact that your here though does tell me "she" is in there to some degree.... Only you can decide how much of her gets out and to who what when and where that happens....
Good luck dealing with her
I dont have kids, never married and Im loaded, been dreaming of everything Im doing for a LONG time now...
I "retired" at 39... I havent worked a day since but I will SOON but it will be whatever job I can get as a woman.... Lucky for me I dont even need the $$$ YET.... I need to do it to validate myself to myself and to LIVE not so much monetarily but just as myself.... I WILL get there too...
I had A LOT of internal conflict to reach the decision I came to, I was obviously very successful as a man to "retire" at 39, Im 45 now... But once I got through all that in my head there was no going back for me before any of this NBE or HRT or coming out or going full time started really....
It all started when I made the decision to go for it, and small steps keep getting bigger....
I dont know you but I get that most here are older and married with kids... I dont know if you are or not but to me thats definitely a big consideration considering the commitments made.... I personally was never cut out for it and Im glad I never went there, makes things so much easier now...
Even for someone like me with everything going for her its NOT the easiest thing to just throw away a whole 1/2 a life lived very successfully as a male...
Granted I WAS miserable as a man by then but still, easier said than done..... I had so many times I put "her" away and resolved to just be "normal"...
I dont know how long you've been on NBE either.... But from what Ive read here and experienced myself its pretty normal to go back underground and bury all this out of guilt and shame...
Thats about all I have on this, the fact that your here though does tell me "she" is in there to some degree.... Only you can decide how much of her gets out and to who what when and where that happens....
Good luck dealing with her