[GoneGirl]

After two years on PM
Mentally I feel almost all female on the inside.
Meaning when I dress in full female mode it feels more natural and less like
playing dress up. Doing guy type things for me now is more of a reach where
two years ago doing female things was more of a reach.
Now its like I have to force myself to bring the male side out.
Now on a physical side growing breasts has given my mental female a boost of confidence. The reality of it is my body is like 50% male and 50% female.
Which crudely put, makes me a chick with D.
Is that enough? Is the question I keep asking myself.
Do my goofy feelings make any sense to you all?

They make sense to me, Elisa. I can't say that I've shifted as much to the female presentation side as you. I still get up in the morning a put on my guy clothes, but the girl in me is not far away. She occupies my mind so much now that it gives me pause. There are a lot of things I will always like to do as a man. I can't imagine that ever changing.

My 3 month synthetic HRT is going to speed up my transition even faster. I guess I'm impatient to reach that state of equilibrium which I'm assuming is somewhere around the corner. Or is it?

I'm still reluctant to burn any bridges, just in case I overshoot. I guess that's my biggest concern at the moment. I tend to pursue things with an intensity that can be overwhelming at times. Is it NBE, or just the discovery of my female gender id that is propelling me along a path of gender transition?

My GD in the past was always confined to the periphery rather than the core of my life. It was bothersome, it was uncomfortable, but it didn't have the potential to turn my life upside down. NBE seems to have been the catalyst for doing exactly that. Is that your experience, Elisa? Where do you ultimately see yourself going in your transition?

I'm not regretting taking up this course, but I'd like to know where it's going to end up and when. I want the final destination to be a happier place, not one that has its own assortment of negatives. I know, it's too much to ask that. I had to run the course to find out. But, I'm watching my sisters Sammie and Eva closely for clues and guidance. You girls are wonderful. That's what's so great about this forum. I'm so fortunate to have all of you to listen and talk to.

Clara