24-05-2014, 08:33 AM
Wow, I don't know how I missed this thread...oh, well, fashionably late, as always.
Heather, first, I feel so bad for you. I have heard stories like yours so often, both here and on the other site, and it always breaks my heart. As you know, my own situation has been rough, too, though, from the sound of things, at least for now, mine seems somewhat better than yours. For how long I cannot tell. Though she did help me tonight with a coat of clear nail polish, which I take as a good sign, albeit possibly of temporary nature.
There is no real comfort I can offer, but I will say this.... as long as we are caught between pleasing others and pleasing ourselves we will have choices to make. Your TG nature will not go away. Only you can know how much compromise you can bear. If you need and want to preserve your marriage then either you must be willing to compromise or she must change, or both.
You can go slowly, move cautiously and hope for the best. Try being as much the man she loves as much as possible and be careful in the extreme about how and when you express your needs. It may work. I hope so. I hope in time she will be willing to bend. Otherwise, you will need to face a hard choice, or else force her to make it for you. I really hope it does not come to that, sweetheart. Best of luck sweet girl.
As to emotions running high after starting on HRT, it is a given. Everyone that I have spoken with or whose stories I have read, agrees that boosting estrogen or the equivalent Miroestrol, will cause tears at some point. My own experience bears this out. Last January following years of high dosage PM, I was an emotional powder keg, and broke into tears easily, what with my emotions so charged and right beneath the surface. Then, last month, as Estradiol, peaked at around 278, i found myself crying at the flick of an eyelash.
That said, however, I have observed another factor at work. The imagination is a powerful thing, especially when we really want something. With all the publicly traded stereotypes about estrogen in males causing tearful emotions, i think some people imagine this consequence beginning long before it actually does. But there truly is a powerful stage in HRT where the tear factor and wild mood swings become palpable forces. When this happens to you, you will know it. There is no mistaking it. It can be quite scary, as it is so powerful. And when combined with any of a number of possible complicating factors - spouse or relationship difficulties, lack of acceptance, job problems or monetary issues, self esteem issues - well, it is no wonder there is a high rate of suicide among our kind.
It is so vital that we monitor ourselves for signs of these difficulties. And equally important that we reach out to others within our somewhat odd little online family here if we sense they are experiencing problems. For many of us, the only people in our lives that "get" what we are going through are those on this board. For some, in real life, there is no one to whom to turn for support. I hope everyone here understands the responsibility we bear toward each other. Far from a bother, it is an honor and a gift.
Heather, first, I feel so bad for you. I have heard stories like yours so often, both here and on the other site, and it always breaks my heart. As you know, my own situation has been rough, too, though, from the sound of things, at least for now, mine seems somewhat better than yours. For how long I cannot tell. Though she did help me tonight with a coat of clear nail polish, which I take as a good sign, albeit possibly of temporary nature.
There is no real comfort I can offer, but I will say this.... as long as we are caught between pleasing others and pleasing ourselves we will have choices to make. Your TG nature will not go away. Only you can know how much compromise you can bear. If you need and want to preserve your marriage then either you must be willing to compromise or she must change, or both.
You can go slowly, move cautiously and hope for the best. Try being as much the man she loves as much as possible and be careful in the extreme about how and when you express your needs. It may work. I hope so. I hope in time she will be willing to bend. Otherwise, you will need to face a hard choice, or else force her to make it for you. I really hope it does not come to that, sweetheart. Best of luck sweet girl.
As to emotions running high after starting on HRT, it is a given. Everyone that I have spoken with or whose stories I have read, agrees that boosting estrogen or the equivalent Miroestrol, will cause tears at some point. My own experience bears this out. Last January following years of high dosage PM, I was an emotional powder keg, and broke into tears easily, what with my emotions so charged and right beneath the surface. Then, last month, as Estradiol, peaked at around 278, i found myself crying at the flick of an eyelash.
That said, however, I have observed another factor at work. The imagination is a powerful thing, especially when we really want something. With all the publicly traded stereotypes about estrogen in males causing tearful emotions, i think some people imagine this consequence beginning long before it actually does. But there truly is a powerful stage in HRT where the tear factor and wild mood swings become palpable forces. When this happens to you, you will know it. There is no mistaking it. It can be quite scary, as it is so powerful. And when combined with any of a number of possible complicating factors - spouse or relationship difficulties, lack of acceptance, job problems or monetary issues, self esteem issues - well, it is no wonder there is a high rate of suicide among our kind.
It is so vital that we monitor ourselves for signs of these difficulties. And equally important that we reach out to others within our somewhat odd little online family here if we sense they are experiencing problems. For many of us, the only people in our lives that "get" what we are going through are those on this board. For some, in real life, there is no one to whom to turn for support. I hope everyone here understands the responsibility we bear toward each other. Far from a bother, it is an honor and a gift.