Dear Heather,
I've come to learn that people do not always state the real reasons for the way they feel, the things they do, or don't do. Often, the true motivation needs to be hidden and some other plausible rationale substituted.
I don't know your wife, of course, but I would not discount this as a possibility. When a person exhibits such a strong emotional reaction to a relatively benign activity like crossdressing, it means there's a lot more going on in her mind than not liking 'pretty boys'. I'm thinking a deep seated sense of insecurity here. Find the true cause, and it can be dealt with to your advantage.
You said that you have been married for 45 years. You both are presumably retired. Your financial future is largely set in stone. It would be a tragedy if you split up at this late stage in life. She knows that, I'm sure, and is terrified about anything that might upset the apple cart.
Despite your wife's threats to end your marriage if you pursue counseling, it may be her fear of losing you that is upsetting her. If that's the case, the solution is to put that notion out of her mind for good. How to do that is best decided by you, yourself, with the help of your therapist.
Clara
I've come to learn that people do not always state the real reasons for the way they feel, the things they do, or don't do. Often, the true motivation needs to be hidden and some other plausible rationale substituted.
I don't know your wife, of course, but I would not discount this as a possibility. When a person exhibits such a strong emotional reaction to a relatively benign activity like crossdressing, it means there's a lot more going on in her mind than not liking 'pretty boys'. I'm thinking a deep seated sense of insecurity here. Find the true cause, and it can be dealt with to your advantage.
You said that you have been married for 45 years. You both are presumably retired. Your financial future is largely set in stone. It would be a tragedy if you split up at this late stage in life. She knows that, I'm sure, and is terrified about anything that might upset the apple cart.
Despite your wife's threats to end your marriage if you pursue counseling, it may be her fear of losing you that is upsetting her. If that's the case, the solution is to put that notion out of her mind for good. How to do that is best decided by you, yourself, with the help of your therapist.
Clara