[Heather-H]

Dear Heather,
I've come to learn that people do not always state the real reasons for the way they feel, the things they do, or don't do. Often, the true motivation needs to be hidden and some other plausible rationale substituted.

I don't know your wife, of course, but I would not discount this as a possibility. When a person exhibits such a strong emotional reaction to a relatively benign activity like crossdressing, it means there's a lot more going on in her mind than not liking 'pretty boys'. I'm thinking a deep seated sense of insecurity here. Find the true cause, and it can be dealt with to your advantage.

You said that you have been married for 45 years. You both are presumably retired. Your financial future is largely set in stone. It would be a tragedy if you split up at this late stage in life. She knows that, I'm sure, and is terrified about anything that might upset the apple cart.

Despite your wife's threats to end your marriage if you pursue counseling, it may be her fear of losing you that is upsetting her. If that's the case, the solution is to put that notion out of her mind for good. How to do that is best decided by you, yourself, with the help of your therapist.

Clara

Thank you Sammie & Clara you are dears as always.

Clara,
Yes we are both retired and on a fixed income but thanks to my pension saving over my working career together with our State Pension we don't have to struggle. However, 90% of our income is linked to me and I have spent hours reassuring her that our relationship is until we both depart this mortal coil.

You are very perceptive, she does quote times of insecurity in her childhood despite being almost spoilt. She is unclear what those insecurities are, they may just be psychologically defective as mine are with GD.

A period of calm has now transcended, so I will let 'sleeping dogs lie' for now and try another session of reassurance later.

I will not burden you with any further revelations, this forum is meant to be a happy place and seeing you all in those fantastic outfits certainly makes me happy. My persona is an Honest, Happy and Optimistic and believe me I will resolve this with love and thoughtfulness.

Cheers gorgeous
Your friend
Heather X