13-06-2014, 04:13 PM
I did talk to my wife about getting an appointment last night. She's an RN by the way. I had no idea it was possible but she (and Clara above) informed me about requests I can make to keep certain information within my medical records on a need to know only basis. Asking that it not be listed as one of diagnoses it one way but the info can also be password protected (at least in the system my clinic uses) so medical staff would need serious credentials to view it. It's given me to peace of mind I needed to agree to go see a professional. It's strange because on one hand, I don't really care who finds out, but on the other, I DON'T want others to know. Maybe it's a, "how they find out" or from "who" that I want to maintain control over. It doesn't even make sense to me.
An interesting offshoot from the conversation is that it instantly conjured up memories of a time when my wife was treating a transgendered person who was less than pleasant, not passing well and irritable about the pronouns being used by the medical staff. It revealed a fear that my wife has that if I have SRS, I'm going to turn into an ugly, grouchy, attention grabbing, gender mutant. I desperately hope someday I can have SRS (she says "maybe") but I reassured her that I always want to be her husband and that no one would have to know I discarded my penis. Basically, the best description I can come up with for myself, POST SRS is, I want to be a Tom Boy. Female underneath but still enough of the old masculine facade to keep others comfortable. I want to be content with myself and my body image and could care less what the world around me sees, thinks or knows. If they want to pigeon hole me as a male, that's fine with me so long as I'M content with what's underneath my clothing.
An interesting offshoot from the conversation is that it instantly conjured up memories of a time when my wife was treating a transgendered person who was less than pleasant, not passing well and irritable about the pronouns being used by the medical staff. It revealed a fear that my wife has that if I have SRS, I'm going to turn into an ugly, grouchy, attention grabbing, gender mutant. I desperately hope someday I can have SRS (she says "maybe") but I reassured her that I always want to be her husband and that no one would have to know I discarded my penis. Basically, the best description I can come up with for myself, POST SRS is, I want to be a Tom Boy. Female underneath but still enough of the old masculine facade to keep others comfortable. I want to be content with myself and my body image and could care less what the world around me sees, thinks or knows. If they want to pigeon hole me as a male, that's fine with me so long as I'M content with what's underneath my clothing.