[GoneGirl]

66 may feel late Clara, but I know you're thinking better late than never! I was in my late 30's before I started to come to terms with everything and I still feel like I was WAY late for the bus.

You know, Lisia, sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different if I had discovered my TG nature at an earlier age. In so many ways, my living and identifying consciously as a male has done well for me. My wife and I both agree that things would have turned out a lot differently if I had transitioned at a much younger age.

The fact is, I wish that I had never been born with a strong female identity. It's never easy to live with the incongruence of having been born with a male body but without a male brain to match. She's mentioned that we probably never would have married if I was openly trans back in my 30s.

My wife's acceptance of my Clara persona today is largely because all the important life decisions have already been made and lived. Reaching retirement age gives us freedom that we could only dream of in our younger days. For that reason, I think my transition, whether or not it proceeds fully, is less troubling than I thought it would be. It's so true what someone said to me: You can't know ahead of time where your journey will take you, but you can be sure it'll be an exciting ride.

Hugs,
Clara (feeling pretty good about things right now)