[GoneGirl]

...I strongly agree, Kari, about assuring one's wife that transition is off the table. Even if it turns out not to be the case, it's too much to expect a wife to accept at this stage. I'm not suggesting lying to her...

Clara

I'm a little uneasy with that statement. I personally wouldn't tell her transition is, "off the table" rather I'd say it's a very distant possibility and only if we could stay married and only with her unreserved permission... but I wouldn't tell her it's "out of the question". ...Unless of course, you know for sure that it really is off the table and you cant imagine ever transitioning. It's a point of personal preference and perspective I guess. For myself, when I told her, I puked EVERYTHING out, once and for all. It worked for me but everyone is different.

I see what you mean, Kari. Your being much younger than I probably explains the difference in our views on that point. For me, I really didn't think I was transsexual, but even if it turned out that I was, I believed it was unreasonable to expect that I could ever live as a woman full time. I felt it was important to emphasize that point so as not to exacerbate the emotional damage my bombshell admission had already caused. Whether she believed me or not, I don't know, except I recall her saying that we'll have to take it one step at a time. I also held back on telling her about my taking PM for another two weeks. The drinking from a fire hose metaphor came to mind...lol.

Clara