[PleasantlyFascinated]

Thanks Sammie, Annie, and Clara -

Sammie,
The porn only increased my frustration, and an affair would compromise my integrity. I can’t exactly pinpoint what caused my interest in feminization, or how long it has been with me. It seems I’ve merely become more aware of it, and am incrementally finding out where that leads. The mental places I go with my private Aphrodite seem to give me a flood of oxytocin that I carry for hours afterward. It’s a feeling as if I am with my soulmate, only what I’m in communion with is the Yin and Yang of myself, and for a time, I feel complete and primed simultaneously.

I work out daily, but do so mostly to build muscular pectorals, hips, buttocks, thighs and calves. I love to enhance what feminine form I have.

You are also correct, in that I do not want to lose one bit of my male function, at least not long-term. The idea or even feeling of temporarily losing male function does not bother me when I’m in my private happy place. But if I were ever to get a divorce, and again have a sexual relationship with a woman, I would want to be 110% for her, as my imaginary Eros is 110% for me.

So, as you say, breast growth fascination did not/does not occur in a vacuum. What sex I am or feel like I am is a fluid experience for me. I was a ballet dancer from age 17 to 27, and never once doubted that I was all man. I guess being a Taurus sun and Scorpio moon makes me a creature of opposites seeking merger.

I’m thinking that my situation is what’s making me want to express as female. You are correct to warn against irreversible changes.

Thanks