[flamesabers]

Kari,

I'm glad to see you're posting about what has been simultaneously terrifying and weighing you down. Hopefully your secret doesn't spread any further, but who knows what can happen now?

I don't know if the informed parties are aware about the difficult decision you're contemplating about staying or going, but I think it may help if they do. The fact your transgender feelings have been intensifying and you're taking pm and hormones to obtain relief from the dysphoria indicates these feelings are valid and should not be trivialized or suppressed. Long before your wife shared your secret to her sister, I know you've been deeply concerned about how your secret may negatively impact or even dissolve your relationship with your wife and children. I don't think it's fair that you should ever have to choose one over the other.

If your sister-in-law and her husband respect you, your wife and your marriage, I think they should keep quiet on this matter and not interfere with how you and your wife are dealing with this.