Hi Kari,
I read your reply to Patti again from a whole different perspective. My heart breaks for you with all the anguish you are feeling at this time. I'm still confused, though, and please excuse me if I seem obtuse, maybe I am, but what is the real problem here? Is it a trust issue with your wife? Is it the fear of possible negative consequences of being publicly identified as transgender? Is it that your relationship with your friends, your church, your family will be irreparably damaged? Maybe it's all of these and more, I'm just trying to understand.
I've read your posts and I know you are trying to find a balance between your gender identity and your gender expression. I see that you are trying to walk a tightrope between finding peace with your GD and living up to the expectations of a binary gender world. The problem is that neither objective is being satisfactorily achieved with that approach.
If the accidental outing to your sister-in-law had not precipitated this crisis, I'm almost certain that something else would have done so eventually. This maybe should be viewed as an opportunity to come to a workable resolution of your GD issues without all the external constraints that limit your choices.
I don't know you that well, so maybe what I'm saying is crazy, but think about the situation with the idea of finding any positives at work here. I somehow have the feeling that this is an important turning point in your life that will eventually bring real peace and harmony to you and your family.
Hugs,
Clara
I read your reply to Patti again from a whole different perspective. My heart breaks for you with all the anguish you are feeling at this time. I'm still confused, though, and please excuse me if I seem obtuse, maybe I am, but what is the real problem here? Is it a trust issue with your wife? Is it the fear of possible negative consequences of being publicly identified as transgender? Is it that your relationship with your friends, your church, your family will be irreparably damaged? Maybe it's all of these and more, I'm just trying to understand.
I've read your posts and I know you are trying to find a balance between your gender identity and your gender expression. I see that you are trying to walk a tightrope between finding peace with your GD and living up to the expectations of a binary gender world. The problem is that neither objective is being satisfactorily achieved with that approach.
If the accidental outing to your sister-in-law had not precipitated this crisis, I'm almost certain that something else would have done so eventually. This maybe should be viewed as an opportunity to come to a workable resolution of your GD issues without all the external constraints that limit your choices.
I don't know you that well, so maybe what I'm saying is crazy, but think about the situation with the idea of finding any positives at work here. I somehow have the feeling that this is an important turning point in your life that will eventually bring real peace and harmony to you and your family.
Hugs,
Clara