[AnnieBL]

Kari,

I don't know whether any of this might help, but just in case it might, here goes.

The last day or two we were staying with my step-daughter, my DW's daughter. We both love her dearly and are very proud of her, but she is very bossy and also the very last person to whom anyone should entrust a confidence. The day before yesterday my DW spent the whole day with her on her own while I was catching up with a friend of mine. My DW was telling me yesterday that she found it a great strain because of an almost irresistible urge to tell her daughter all about my gender issues. She didn't but thought it was a very near thing. So this is probably a hazard we all face and at least your DW shouldn't feel too bad about it.

Next, when I have found myself in an apparently impossible situation, and have done whatever seems reasonably practical, I take a step back and place myself in the hands of providence (a general term for whatever suits your own religious beliefs), and things generally then work themselves out better than one ever would have believed possible.