[MissC]

Walk a few thousand miles In my shoes and get back to me Miss C...

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, sweetie. Read on.

Why do you doubt that many that get SRS cant live without it???

The short answer -- I read. But let's come back to that one later.

Have you ever tried living full time as a female???

I don't try; I actually do, though it's a bit more complicated in my case. I can pass, sometimes, from a sufficient distance. My driver license picture looks female but it says "M". I dress and appear female, but the core difference is that I'm not trying to convince anyone that I'm a bio-girl. There's no help for my baritone either. Androgyne would be the word.

I have not been able to do the "guy, shirtless" thing since puberty, when my boobs grew in. I'm not a regular dude with a lingerie fetish, ya know.

It suits me, however, as a two-spirit. I get sir, ma'am, and/or confusion depending on the day. I don't suppose a lot of people could live the way I do, existing outside the gender binary. In short, yes, I am "full time".

Are you out with everyone that matters in your life???

Yep. I am so far out of the closet I couldn't find my way back with GPS.

Have you fully committed yourself to living the rest of your life as a female???

I don't need to. There's no law that says I have to have my penis removed in order to dress like a girl. There's no law that says I have to take hormones or have my name changed. I can wear dresses and makeup every day for the rest of my life without anyone's permission, without surgery, and without changing my name or official sex.

That's because I reject the notion that gender and sex are purely binary. Seeing things from that perspective, your position looks a bit... antiquated.

Besides all that, I don't believe for a second that I could or would be female! Which is my point to all this!

I will say that to truly live as a woman with a penis gets old really fast...

It doesn't bother me a bit. I don't have to "pass" naked. I wear clothing when I'm outside of my house, so no one in public knows what's up my skirt. Sit down to pee in the ladies' loo, and you'll be fine.

Although I have to say, when it comes to naked fun and games... being a "shemale" is pretty darn awesome! I admit to some occasional uterus envy, but plenty of my girlfriends have occasional penis envy... it all balances out. I know myself well enough to know that even if I did want it gone, I'd want it back at some point....

While I cant say its been long for me the alternative was a truly miserable existence where the only real question was do I keep killing myself slowly with the booze and depression or just get it over with easy and quick with my .45....

I spent most of my 20s and part of my 30s trying to kill my liver, trying to drink away my pain, solitude, not fitting in, shame, guilt, anger, you name it. You ain't special.

There are many ways to quit drinking and kick depression -- most of which, I'm told, are more effective, cheaper, and less traumatic than having your penis removed.

I did it. I quit tobacco too. Two things happened to cause this: I got tired of hangovers, and I got tired of hating myself for being different. That's what it was, deep down inside. I didn't like me. You'll hear that from everyone who's kicked a depression and booze habit, not just trans people.

You seem to be under the impression that this is all really just a choice and a fantasy and your wrong...

I had the fantasy... and I made a choice. That's my impression, because it's my reality. I know I'm not the only one of my kind, so my impression is, at the very least, truth for a minority. So how can I be wrong?

Which brings us back to...

Why do you doubt that many that get SRS cant live without it???

I suppose if one had penile cancer, and had to have it removed pronto or it would metastasize and kill the man...

Thing is, people are resilient. They find ways. I'm sure a lot of fine young men think they couldn't live without legs, but as so many of those young men coming back from war zones without them find, they can adapt. Not pleasantly, but they adapt.

Some do commit suicide, we know, but that remains the individual's choice. It's not set in stone. We can't give those boys their legs back.

Bottom line: you haven't pulled the trigger. And if you can't get SRS, you still won't pull the trigger. You will live without it because your will to live is stronger than your desire to change.

But you will not die -- naturally -- of having male genitalia. Nor will anyone else. Nor will that fact shock the general public.