[EvaMarie]

As for me I was telling other children when I was five or six years old that I wanted to be a girl, and this got to my parents but they never said anything. I was always being caught cross-dressing after the age of 10 and I was told by my parents that it basically just crossdressing. The voices in my head that told me a wanted to be a woman never stopped. There was a sexual part to dressing for me maybe into my thirties, but today I'm never sexual turned by dressing. I think that I have bought so much clothes recently is that I could never really have them before. I just like to come home from work and put on a dress which is no problem because I live alone. I have been in denial about depth of my GD, and this has led to be not really caring about anything in my personal life. I have been drinking to much, not going to doctors, and being overweight. I spent most of last week in the hospital for a leg problem that was likely cause by NBE in connection with being unhealthy. I just did not want to deal with it. I have quit PM for now. My own GD I don't really understand so it is hard for me to judge other peoples. I'm done not dealing with things and I hope to go see a therapist this week or next. I looking forward to SCC and meeting everyone. Robin.

Good luck Robin things can look bleak but if its "time" for you try not to let where your starting from discourage you... The biggest thing is self acceptance and finding a way to love and forgive yourself... Once you have that you will be ready and likely soon wondering why you waited so long... When and if you do decide to go all out things can change very fast and the results can be beyond anything in your wildest dreams