11-10-2014, 03:13 AM
Annie, I want to congratulate you on your coming out so quickly and completely. I'm very impressed. There are usually many obstacles to be overcome to do what you have done, and that usually takes time.
The attraction to physical beauty in both men and women is more than a cultural phenomenon. It's embedded in the genetics of the human species, in my opinion. The standards of beauty may vary, but not the behaviors in reaction to those standards as possessed by individuals. I'm sure it plays a role in the survival of the species.
I'd like to blame society for the injustices that I experience in life, but it doesn't get me anywhere. I envy those who can honestly detach themselves from the opinions of the people around them and attain a high level of self-acceptance. It's the Popeye attitude -- "I yam what I yam". Take it or leave it. Unfortunately, if you don't measure up to cultural standards, they too often leave it.
It takes a remarkable person to find self acceptance in the face of societal disapproval or indifference. Self love and acceptance is something I have to work at because, for me, unfortunately, it's contingent upon the approval of others. I'm sure that's part of the reason I'm a late transitioner. It's been both a blessing and a curse. A curse in that I never seem to fully reach that blissful state of mind, but also a blessing because it motivates me to stretch myself and achieve things that I wouldn't have otherwise achieved.
Ultimately, my goal is the same as yours, Annie, -- to be comfortable as the woman I am. To get there I have to meet the standards that I set for myself. As a transsexual I possess a certain amount of body dysphoria that arises from a mismatch between my body and my internal female self-image. You're right, it isn't really about passing or achieving some standard of beauty. I already pass pretty well even at this early stage of my transition. And I'll never be beautiful as a woman. I would like to attain an appearance that I'm pleased with when I look in the mirror, though. I'm not quite there yet.
Achieving that level of self-acceptance is everyone's goal whether or not they are able to achieve it. It is, in my opinion, the measure of a successful transition. It's different for every individual whether trans or cis.
Accepting my transgenderism was a huge step toward achieving self-love, self-acceptance, and the mental peace that comes with it. But, it's not enough. I now have to become the woman that I am in a real-world sense. It's not easy for me because I've never set easy to reach goals for myself in life. I would love to be as comfortable with myself as you are, Annie. At SCC, I could tell right away that you were much more at ease with your first public interaction as a transwoman than I ever expected. It's wonderful.
Clara
The attraction to physical beauty in both men and women is more than a cultural phenomenon. It's embedded in the genetics of the human species, in my opinion. The standards of beauty may vary, but not the behaviors in reaction to those standards as possessed by individuals. I'm sure it plays a role in the survival of the species.
I'd like to blame society for the injustices that I experience in life, but it doesn't get me anywhere. I envy those who can honestly detach themselves from the opinions of the people around them and attain a high level of self-acceptance. It's the Popeye attitude -- "I yam what I yam". Take it or leave it. Unfortunately, if you don't measure up to cultural standards, they too often leave it.
It takes a remarkable person to find self acceptance in the face of societal disapproval or indifference. Self love and acceptance is something I have to work at because, for me, unfortunately, it's contingent upon the approval of others. I'm sure that's part of the reason I'm a late transitioner. It's been both a blessing and a curse. A curse in that I never seem to fully reach that blissful state of mind, but also a blessing because it motivates me to stretch myself and achieve things that I wouldn't have otherwise achieved.
Ultimately, my goal is the same as yours, Annie, -- to be comfortable as the woman I am. To get there I have to meet the standards that I set for myself. As a transsexual I possess a certain amount of body dysphoria that arises from a mismatch between my body and my internal female self-image. You're right, it isn't really about passing or achieving some standard of beauty. I already pass pretty well even at this early stage of my transition. And I'll never be beautiful as a woman. I would like to attain an appearance that I'm pleased with when I look in the mirror, though. I'm not quite there yet.
Achieving that level of self-acceptance is everyone's goal whether or not they are able to achieve it. It is, in my opinion, the measure of a successful transition. It's different for every individual whether trans or cis.
Accepting my transgenderism was a huge step toward achieving self-love, self-acceptance, and the mental peace that comes with it. But, it's not enough. I now have to become the woman that I am in a real-world sense. It's not easy for me because I've never set easy to reach goals for myself in life. I would love to be as comfortable with myself as you are, Annie. At SCC, I could tell right away that you were much more at ease with your first public interaction as a transwoman than I ever expected. It's wonderful.
Clara