[GoneGirl]

I think it is also very important for the wife of a transgender to realize that she is not alone. Even a devoted spouse will pull back under the threat of social disapproval and isolation.

Annie, I noticed a marked change in your wife's outlook toward your transgenderism after she and my wife had a long telephone conversion this summer in which my wife's positive attitude eased some of the apprehension that J was feeling. Suddenly things didn't seem so threatening.

The wives of members of our Chi Chapter support group are encouraged to join along with their trans husbands and meet other wives who have 'survived' their husbands' coming out. Kari, is probably already seeing the benefit to him and his wife by participation in the support group he mentioned for the non-trans partner.

I totally agree with you, Kari, about not taking your wife's understanding and acceptance for granted. The wonderful thing about transitioning with HRT is that you are likely to become a more valued mate to your wife. The normal man-woman sexual relationship will suffer, though, so other forms of intimacy need to be found that are mutually satisfying.

This is a great thread, Kari.

Clara