[flamesabers]

Nope no really. I'm up and down like a yo-yo. I struggled all last year and crashed big time this year. Last week I broke my "can't sleep" record at just over 4 days. Then slept on and off for 2 days. What's really getting to me is the feeling that I'm not right. The feeling I'm unhinged. It's been too long. I've had depression many times before but never like this and for this amount of time. I have times when I'm happy or enjoying myself but it's fleeting and the next day I may wake up at square one again. Hell, it can change over the course of a day. I'm sick of feeling bad and sorry for myself. I'm sick of analysing and focusing on motives, emotions and feelings. So I'm not.

So it's time for new tactics, happy pills. I'm on close watch for next 3 weeks because the pills can make things worse. I admit I'm not looking forward to it. lol

Happy pills as in antidepressants or happy pills as in estrogen and AA's?

If it's anti-depressants you're taking, is this the first time? I've been taking anti-depressants for a few years. Let me know if you have any questions or just need someone to listen.