[Sofia Bunny]

Thank you again MissC for your comments and feedback.

Please don't misunderstand -- I didn't tell you that to indicate that you've done something wrong. I just wanted to present a thought exercise, and perhaps introduce to you a different way of looking at things.

Oh I understand, and I do try to keep an open perspective of how I perceive the world around me, and how others perceive me. I just need to focus less on what I think people want to see in me, and just be me.

I do tend to put the blame more on myself, because in the end it is truly no one else's fault. No one forced me to be this way, I am who I am because of the choices I have made, or chose not to make.

Remember your Robert Burns: "O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!"

Sorry, I don't believe I am familiar with that quote, and if I ever was, it has long since been forgotten.

However, I will point out that I believe it's a mistake to conflate "fitting in" with "being liked". It's very possible to be a well-liked misfit. Especially so, if you happen to fall into a group of other misfits..!

Anywhere you go, there will be social groups of misfits. And thanks to the internet and things like MeetUp, you can find them.

I suppose I viewed them as one and the same. To be liked, I felt like you had to fit in, if you fit in, then you are liked. Of course that could be my own warped point of view. I realize it is not exactly logical, but it is how I perceived it. I'll pass on the misfits. :p

But you won't make any friends until you can open up. And sometimes, even when you do open up, the other party can't or won't.

Yeah, I am realizing that now. I have to work on my patience, and understanding. Just cause I'm crazy enough to dive in head first, doesn't mean others are. Everyone goes at their own pace, and it isn't fair of me to expect the same level of openness if the other party isn't quite there yet. Patience, and understanding on my part, and hopefully in turn I'll receive the same.

Sometimes people hurt you. You have two options: forgive, or turn your back. Either way, you can't let it bother you, cloud your judgment, or impede your progress.

Whether someone hurts me intentionally, or unintentionally, I am a pretty forgiving person. But I can't help but analyze how it got to that point. Was it me, was it them? Could I have possibly done something different and avoided this all together. So yeah, a bit of a cloudy mess and unfortunately does affect my judgment, and my progress being collateral damage. I really need to just stop over thinking and let it be. Ha ha ha, just need to find that on off switch in my brain and I'll be all right!

Don't waste another minute of your life crying over stuff you can't change. You can't change the past.

Change the stuff you can. You can change the future.

I am not sure why, but I can't help but think about the Lion King.

I know that the past is the past and there isn't anything I can do to change it. I just have a hard time not thinking about it. I can't forget it, my brain won't let me forget it. Plus my future self depends on learning from my past self, which in turns leads to over analyzing what I have done, and what I should now do. While this at times can lead to sadness and frustration, eventually I get through and most of the time come out victorious. On occasion, I may end up in a loop, but that's because at times I am being stubborn and don't want to choose a different path.