[Sofia Bunny]

F & I,

That's depressing, dark, tortured and yet brilliant. How about writing something uplifting or inspirational?. Motivation is pretty powerful, it changes people's lives.

Thank you for the comment and review. And I couldn't agree with you more. Unfortunately my writing comes easiest when I am at one extreme emotion or another. Maybe if I can focus hard enough on what I felt prior to... well prior to... lets say recent events, then maybe I can find something more uplifting.

I'm reading it as a sort of slow thrash metal song. In that case, it just needs a chorus. Even one of the verses here that you feel is the strongest in the piece could serve as one. Something that (in the form of a song) could be repeated a few times, like, after every three verses and a few times at the end. It'd be between 50 and 65 bpm. Minor key, of course.

Ha ha, that's too funny. I have actually written several songs, can't sing worth a damn , and can't play any instruments, but that is neither here nor there. Now you have me re-evaluating what I wrote and finding a tune and chorus. So far the very first paragraph is looking good to me for my chorus. I really had no intention of making this a song, but alas the idea is there. It's not like anyone would ever hear it. :p