25-02-2015, 01:19 PM
Having been off PM for some time now, my experience is not that much different from previous times that I have gone off of it.
My libido eventually came back, and perhaps is even stronger than before although that is difficult to properly assess. It doesn't seem to affect my wife's sex drive or interests.
My feet don't give me anywhere near as much pain, and I do not wake up in the night with my toes in agony. I don't crossdream as much, although my tastes in porn definitely change more to the lesbian female type of role.
I feel very conflicted. It is like I am throwing away the boobs I worked so hard for and gave up so much for. Of course, they really don't shrink that much but they do lose fullness. That makes me irrationally upset. I cannot seem to emotionally use the fact that I am improving in energy level and pain relief as a counterbalance to that upset. It leaves me emotionally drained and irritable.
My urge to crossdress is as strong or stronger than ever, and I suppose it is likely a way for my psyche to deal with the problem I described in the previous paragraph.
In the end though, I am of an age where I know that any damage I do to my body is not anywhere near as recoverable as it was when I was younger. I have watched our senior parents do themselves and their quality of life serious irreversible harm by denying the negative effects of some of their choices (diet and activity type choices) and I have no interest in intentionally doing any of that to myself. So unless or until I find a way to not cause the foot pain, I am afraid PM is going to mostly be a no-go for me. I don't want to spend my last 20 years (or whatever I get) in a wheelchair. I'll just have to be a fucked up individual in the ways I have been since youth, instead of the new ways I have been working on for the last several years.
I will say that in my experience PM is quite a bit like a lot of prescription drugs in that it can be 2-4 weeks before changes resulting from starting or stopping it manifest and settle out.
My libido eventually came back, and perhaps is even stronger than before although that is difficult to properly assess. It doesn't seem to affect my wife's sex drive or interests.
My feet don't give me anywhere near as much pain, and I do not wake up in the night with my toes in agony. I don't crossdream as much, although my tastes in porn definitely change more to the lesbian female type of role.
I feel very conflicted. It is like I am throwing away the boobs I worked so hard for and gave up so much for. Of course, they really don't shrink that much but they do lose fullness. That makes me irrationally upset. I cannot seem to emotionally use the fact that I am improving in energy level and pain relief as a counterbalance to that upset. It leaves me emotionally drained and irritable.
My urge to crossdress is as strong or stronger than ever, and I suppose it is likely a way for my psyche to deal with the problem I described in the previous paragraph.
In the end though, I am of an age where I know that any damage I do to my body is not anywhere near as recoverable as it was when I was younger. I have watched our senior parents do themselves and their quality of life serious irreversible harm by denying the negative effects of some of their choices (diet and activity type choices) and I have no interest in intentionally doing any of that to myself. So unless or until I find a way to not cause the foot pain, I am afraid PM is going to mostly be a no-go for me. I don't want to spend my last 20 years (or whatever I get) in a wheelchair. I'll just have to be a fucked up individual in the ways I have been since youth, instead of the new ways I have been working on for the last several years.
I will say that in my experience PM is quite a bit like a lot of prescription drugs in that it can be 2-4 weeks before changes resulting from starting or stopping it manifest and settle out.