[bryony]

I have always struggled with this one... Much as I'd like to have been born a female, I know deep down that my brain cannot be truly female, simply because I cannot look at a man and see what in the world would make him attractive to a girl. I know what I think looks handsome; but I see pretty girls with plain, even ugly men - by my standards. I've asked my daughter what it is, and she can't explain it to me. I've seen research that shows that even their taste varies according to their monthly cycle, preferring more masculine features one week and more gentle ones later.

Bryony,

Maybe you're a male lesbian?

I know it was a joke, but you have to wonder... the percentage of cis-females are about 1-2% lesbian, but the percentage of late transitioning trans-women who are "heterosexual" (who fancy men) is about the same percentage - at least the ones I read about. It kind of stretches the concept of "I am a woman"...

I'm "happy" to call myself a wannabee...

I have some comments on your statement of us not marrying lesbians. I'm single, so this is entirely hypothetical, but the type of female I would like to be with is one who is open-minded about gender identities and roles. In other words, someone who sees outside of the male-female binary.

That's absolutely fine. Nothing I say should be taken as critical of people who are open and upfront about their condition before they marry, or at least before they have children, and / or whose wife/partner is ok with it.

Those whom I do criticise are those who, having allowed a wife to think of them as an ordinary male for decades, bore his children and quite rightly expected them to grow old together, gets blown out of the water by someone who decides that now is the time for him to "find his inner woman", like it or not, giving the wife no choice but to "deal with it" or divorce.

This, to me, is exactly on a par with someone saying "I love you dear, but you just don't turn me on any more, so I want a divorce" and goes off with the bimbo he's been having an affair with.

It's a different kind of misogynistic faithlessness.

B.