[robyngurl]

Those whom I do criticise are those who, having allowed a wife to think of them as an ordinary male for decades, bore his children and quite rightly expected them to grow old together, gets blown out of the water by someone who decides that now is the time for him to "find his inner woman", like it or not, giving the wife no choice but to "deal with it" or divorce.

This, to me, is exactly on a par with someone saying "I love you dear, but you just don't turn me on any more, so I want a divorce" and goes off with the bimbo he's been having an affair with.

It's a different kind of misogynistic faithlessness.

B.

That's not exactly as cut and dry as you make it sound. I hardly feel as though I duped my wife into some kind of false pretense about who I am. I'm the same person... I love her just as much now, if not more, than when we were first married. I'm just finally not as terrified to allow myself to present on the outside as I've felt on the inside my entire life. Some of us didn't have the strength or confidence to unearth our deepest darkest secret at the infancy of our relationship. I get the point you're trying to make; but is it necessary to shove salt in an open wound for some of us? To me, to compare this to an affair is a slap in the face.