[flamesabers]

The whole point is that the marriage [in the article] is based on a lie. The wife is the injured party. Therefore it is incumbent on the husband to make amends, by agreeing any way forward with the wife, and not just going ahead with it come what may.

I understand it would be hard to grasp by someone who hasn't been married though.

B.

How should the husband make amends? Even if he presents as male, the wife may still be unhappy that he's taking hormones or whatnot.

I agree the husband isn't the man the wife married. The genie can't be put back into the bottle. I think now it's up to the wife now as to what she wants to do going forward. I think I said as much in my initial response:

In her situation I think she has two choices: leave her husband if this is too overwhelming for her, or come to accept the situation and make the best of it

I don't think the wife having to make a decision absolves the husband of culpability. The way I see it, regardless of what the husband does and does not do, she bears ownership of whether or not she wants to remain married to him. Yes, it's a unfortunate situation for her, but it's still something she must decide on regardless.

I'm curious to gauge your response in a different type of situation. Let's say hypothetically instead of transitioning, the husband has depression. He may or may not have depressive episodes prior to being married. He gets treatment, to include medication and therapy. However, the catch is the medication drastically reduces his libidio. He's feeling better but his wife is unhappy because he's showing little sexual interest in her. He's tried going off the medication, but the depression returns not to long after.

Does the husband have a duty to sacrifice his own well-being to keep his wife sexually satisfied? I would say no. Maybe there is a solution that will ensure both parties are happy, or maybe the wife will have to decide whether a sexless marriage is something she can live with. If not, she has the option to get a divorce and find a man she is happy with.

Yes, being a lifelong bachelor very likely has a material influence on marriage. The way I see it, people change for better or for worse. I think sometimes marriages can be improved or saved with adequate effort. Other times, it may be more sensible and practical to end it and have both parties go on their own paths. Do all friendships or cohabiting relationships thrive and last for a lifetime? No. Why would it be any different for marriages? I don't think marriage vows guarantees a relationship will be happy and long lasting anymore than exercising regularly guarantees one will have a healthy and long life.