Update time. 
My depression is definitely lessoning and I have a renewed optimism for the future. Unfortunately I have to change medication due to the excessive side effects that I have been suffering.
At the start I was on 50mg Sertraline but it made me a total dribbling zombie. I was barely able to construct a coherent sentence.
25mg Sertraline was not enough to help fight the depression. I relapsed.
37.5mg Sertraline worked to a point, but annoyingly the side effects resurfaced and it was difficult to keep to a consistent dose when you have to cut 1/4 off a 50mg. Yay for having extreme sensitivity! lol
So today I am moving across to Fluoxetine 20mg another SSRI. I hope it works OK.
Counselling
The counsellor is helping me more than I can describe. Far more than the psychiatrist I was seeing did.
Initially talking about gender issues was incredibly difficult but it has helped so very much.
I can say "I am no longer an immediate suicide risk.". I can't say it is no longer an option because for me, denying the feeling somehow gives it power. As an ex-smoker I choose not to smoke but saying I will never smoke again is too much pressure. Does that make sense? Today I can choose what I do and I will worry about tomorrow if and when it becomes today.
Other Stuff.
Finances have improved and I finally have enough extra that I can order Pueraria Mirifica once I get my new bank card next week.
Have decided my user name does not suit me and my personality. So I will be changing it soon.
Thank you all for your best wishes.
My depression is definitely lessoning and I have a renewed optimism for the future. Unfortunately I have to change medication due to the excessive side effects that I have been suffering.
At the start I was on 50mg Sertraline but it made me a total dribbling zombie. I was barely able to construct a coherent sentence.
25mg Sertraline was not enough to help fight the depression. I relapsed.
37.5mg Sertraline worked to a point, but annoyingly the side effects resurfaced and it was difficult to keep to a consistent dose when you have to cut 1/4 off a 50mg. Yay for having extreme sensitivity! lol
So today I am moving across to Fluoxetine 20mg another SSRI. I hope it works OK.
Counselling
The counsellor is helping me more than I can describe. Far more than the psychiatrist I was seeing did.
Initially talking about gender issues was incredibly difficult but it has helped so very much.
I can say "I am no longer an immediate suicide risk.". I can't say it is no longer an option because for me, denying the feeling somehow gives it power. As an ex-smoker I choose not to smoke but saying I will never smoke again is too much pressure. Does that make sense? Today I can choose what I do and I will worry about tomorrow if and when it becomes today.
Other Stuff.
Finances have improved and I finally have enough extra that I can order Pueraria Mirifica once I get my new bank card next week.
Have decided my user name does not suit me and my personality. So I will be changing it soon.
Thank you all for your best wishes.