28-03-2015, 02:27 AM
Oh, Bryony, I couldn't disagree with you more.
When I came out to my wife after years of trans denial and doing my best to be a man and fulfill my marital and family obligations, my wife was distraught. When retirement took away the means to distract me from my mental anxiety, as my depression and self-destructive behaviors mounted, I sought help. I began to understand for myself what being transgender meant. There was no deception; there was no selfishness; there was confusion and a longing to fit into the cisworld. It was not to be. That's what you don't get. You think that taking drugs is going to 'cure' a transgender. But testosterone poisoning is only half the problem. That's you, it's not me.
My wife and I love each other very deeply. She was willing to let me go if that was necessary. I was willing to take 'the pill' that would make me the cisman she thought she married. No such pill exists!
Cisgender people can't understand how we transsexuals feel. You have to be transsexual to understand what it's about. And, yes, transsexuals can hide their condition until late in life -- I've done it.
My wife and I agreed to take it one step at a time. She educated herself on transgenderism. She read numerous books describing the experiences of other couples. We joined a TG support group together. She made an effort to deal with the situation at hand, not condemn me or use some pointless moral principle to coerce me into sticking to the contract.
She told me that if she had known that I was transgender when we first met, she would never have continued dating, much less marry me. Then, she said, I'm glad I didn't know because I'm glad we are together. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
At first I thought I could continue in the role of male husband, just taking the PM estrogen to ease the GD, as you suggest. Yes, I tried that. It might have worked for you, but it didn't work for me. It doesn't work for those of us with female brains that blossom in the presence of E. My female gender identity became impossible to ignore.
My wife also confessed that she is glad I'm TS and not a part-time cross dresser. I am one person, all the time. I'm out to the world. I hide nothing. I am free to be the real me. I am not ashamed; Neither does she; I do not feel guilty. And, she'll tell you that I am more considerate and understanding as a mate than I have ever been.
Stop blaming us transgenders for the complications that being transgender causes families. We are the victims, not the perpetrators. Each of us has to do what we have to do.
Clara
When I came out to my wife after years of trans denial and doing my best to be a man and fulfill my marital and family obligations, my wife was distraught. When retirement took away the means to distract me from my mental anxiety, as my depression and self-destructive behaviors mounted, I sought help. I began to understand for myself what being transgender meant. There was no deception; there was no selfishness; there was confusion and a longing to fit into the cisworld. It was not to be. That's what you don't get. You think that taking drugs is going to 'cure' a transgender. But testosterone poisoning is only half the problem. That's you, it's not me.
My wife and I love each other very deeply. She was willing to let me go if that was necessary. I was willing to take 'the pill' that would make me the cisman she thought she married. No such pill exists!
Cisgender people can't understand how we transsexuals feel. You have to be transsexual to understand what it's about. And, yes, transsexuals can hide their condition until late in life -- I've done it.
My wife and I agreed to take it one step at a time. She educated herself on transgenderism. She read numerous books describing the experiences of other couples. We joined a TG support group together. She made an effort to deal with the situation at hand, not condemn me or use some pointless moral principle to coerce me into sticking to the contract.
She told me that if she had known that I was transgender when we first met, she would never have continued dating, much less marry me. Then, she said, I'm glad I didn't know because I'm glad we are together. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
At first I thought I could continue in the role of male husband, just taking the PM estrogen to ease the GD, as you suggest. Yes, I tried that. It might have worked for you, but it didn't work for me. It doesn't work for those of us with female brains that blossom in the presence of E. My female gender identity became impossible to ignore.
My wife also confessed that she is glad I'm TS and not a part-time cross dresser. I am one person, all the time. I'm out to the world. I hide nothing. I am free to be the real me. I am not ashamed; Neither does she; I do not feel guilty. And, she'll tell you that I am more considerate and understanding as a mate than I have ever been.
Stop blaming us transgenders for the complications that being transgender causes families. We are the victims, not the perpetrators. Each of us has to do what we have to do.
Clara