04-04-2015, 03:23 PM
I am not defending myself in any way but. Thanks TP, I already feel like a shit, I have admitted to my wife that I feel selfish and she has admitted that if this happened 20 years ago, she would be gone. I didn't ask for these feelings and truth be told I don't want them. Before I finally came out to my wife I was having dark thoughts that involve the big sleep. Having breasts make me feel whole, being feminine make me feel whole. I look in the mirror in drab and who I see is not me. My wife ( Bless her ) is trying her best to understand, I am trying hard to do what I feel needs to be done to keep my sanity and keep the family unit together. Now, around us we have friends and family that have divorced or getting divorced or living together completely miserable. From one of the spouses playing the field, or little or no communication or affection. I am not perfect in any stretch of the imagination, but it seems we have one of the best relationships of most of the people we know. People grow apart, people change. I cannot guarantee my marriage will survive my issues, but at least we are trying. I doubt by any stretch of anyones imagination that somebody would think " lets get married, I will hold of on wanting to get my breasts until she is almost 50, then she will be trapped " It just does not work that way.

