[TibetanPrincess]

Okay, Hurricane, here's my theory....

A lot of women are conditioned to growing up, finding a good man, starting a family, moving into a nice house, attending church on Sunday, having holiday get togethers with family, etc. etc. It's a dream they've had since teenagers. It's their good-life model. We husbands often have a similar vision of the future.

The problem with women who become fixated on this societal template is that they inevitably become disappointed and unhappy when they fall short of their hopes and dreams.

It starts with finding a good man. It's not necessary that they love their choice with all their heart and soul. Her love is mainly based on how she believes you will fit into the life she's constructing. Of course, her chosen man has some habits she'd rather do without, but, not to worry, she'll correct those things once they're married.

A big hint that you've married a woman in love with a life style is that she is very insistent on things being a certain way. She coaches you on all manner of things: social behavior, dress, career ambitions, etc. After all, she is very dependent upon you to help her be, and be seen, as the woman that society admires. This is the source of her self-esteem.

Gradually, she comes to realize that it's not working out. Her husband isn't all that she dreamed of; that he has needs and desires that don't necessarily match up well with hers. He's become less attractive in her eye, as well. The focus of her life shifts from husband to the new child, their sex life wanes, they argue a lot, etc.

But as disappointing as her life has become vis s vis her dream life, she tries to make the best of it, and manages to find an acceptable compromise that gives some contentment and reward.

Then, one day, her husband announces that he is transgender and needs opportunity to express his feminine side. OMG! This won't fly at all. It destroys her cobbled together world that she's worked so hard to build, such as it is. Her reaction is to protect her world in any way that she believes can stop such destructive, embarrassing behavior.

Does it matter that you have been suffering with this condition all your life, fought it off time and time again, but just don't have the strength to do it anymore? Why is my wife not more willing to work with me on this? Doesn't she love me? Doesn't she want me to be a happier person?

I'm not saying any of this is what's going on in your life, Hurricane, but if it is, consider the possibility that your wife's love is only as deep as your willingness to satisfy her needs, your ability to nurture her self-image. Your being a cross dressing husband is not even close to what she's willing to accept for your sake. Why? Well, if you can learn the answer to that question, there might be hope to resolve this impasse.

Good luck.

Clara

@Clara,
"self image?" No. Not for me at least. It's about simply being attracted to a man who expresses in a masculine nature. It's simply what most women are attracted to. Now, if you can change that, you may have a way to resolve this behavior acceptance issue.

I was never a teen to dream of a grand wedding with children and church on Sundays.

So please understand it's far more complex.
it's biochemical for me, not a societal stigma issue.

@Hurricane
I, and like many TGs (who have Re assigned their sex)
Do not quite understand the "inbetween."
But we do know. TG's eventually have to come to terms with it and have to go their own route, whether their partners can accept it or not.

So question is, are you truly TG all the way (born in the wrong body, change sex), or are you somewhere inbetween (man with a female side to express)?
And yes, it does matter, especially from a partner's perspective.
If your kids are grown, you are better off Coming to full terms. It's when the kids are young...
It's worse.