[Miranda-nata-est]

I agree with this advice, and I like the way you stated it, Miranda.

I so have a problem with all this "contract" talk. It's all bullshit, and, as you say, is immaterial. To use the "you violated the contract" argument to coerce certain behavior is not going to accomplish anything meaningful when it comes to being transgender. Always try to work out a problem from where you are at the moment, given the relevant facts at the moment. Assigning blame may make one feel better, or it might justify some unilateral action, but if saving the marriage is the goal, it's best to put it behind you.

Clara

I wasn't for one moment suggesting anyone use 'you've broken the contract' as an argument point in a discussion with one's SO. However, it is worthy of attention by the person who has rocked the relationship by coming out to his/her other half as it helps one gain a bit of the other half's perspective.


Regarding the original post, I had also intended mentioning is that it is probably a good idea to be aware that a person who has been emotionally hurt is likely to come out with all sorts of stuff that may have little bearing in reality. So, it is eminently possible that some of the things being said to you are not quite as they actually are. .

Miranda