[bryony]

I haven't heard much about the child - or is it children? Reference to "first child" implies more. What about them? Children are more likely to grow up dysfunctional with separated parents.

You two are, like it or not, related by virtue of creating children. What you have to decide is, what is most important? She seems to be disappointed you didn't meet her expectations, and vice versa. What about your respective roles as father and mother? How much do you (both of you) love your children? Would you put yourselves in harm's way to protect them?

Is mental damage better or worse than physical damage? If you would put yourselves in harm's way to protect them, would come to an arrangement whereby you could live as a happy family, perhaps in a non-sexual way, for their benefit?

To be honest, I think her chances of finding another partner with kids in tow are slim, and yours, with the gender dysphoria, sorry to say are pretty much non-existent.

Is it not possible to put the sex / self-realisation / self-actualisation / gratification to one side and concentrate on a happy family life with your kids?

Just asking.

B.