28-05-2015, 01:50 AM
Bryony, you persist on believing that everyone is like you with your prescription for treating GD. Unfortunately, we are all unique in our gender make up and the way we react to being mismatched to our birth assigned gender.
I mentioned before that I was drawn to your theory back in 2013 as a way to treat my own GD while still maintaining the male role in my marriage. Yes, I found relief from mental distress by taking estrogenic herbs (PM), and yes, I was able to maintain male sexual function by taking monthly cold-turkey breaks. I was able to lower my estrogen dosage to just 1500 mg of PM a day and still maintain the therapeutic results I was looking for. Everything seemed to be working as expected, but...
As time went on, the intensity of my female gender identity increased. The GD began to return. I noticed changes in my temperament, and my need to express my feminine side increased. I started to cross dress for the first time unlike many whose need to cross dress diminishes as T levels fall.
It wasn't working, and I attribute it to the activation of estrogen receptors in my brain (much like what happens in breast tissue) as my T vs. E levels shifted to estrogen. In short, for me, there was NO optimal estrogen level that would create a stable middle ground allowing me to fulfill a male role while holding back my inner woman. My gender identity is too far to the opposite end of the gender spectrum. If I was more in the middle, it might have worked. The fact is, I'm transsexual. I have no doubt about it.
Is it possible to live 66 years as a male while possessing such a strong feminine gender identity? The answer clearly is yes in my case. Could I have continued in a male role despite my gender dysphoria for the sake of my family? In my opinion, no. It became unbearable, which is why I sought relief, and am now in the middle of a full MTF transition.
Once I started down that path, there was no turning back. Fortunately, for me, my wife was sympathetic to my suffering, wanted to help me, and was willing to take it step by step for as long as possible.
But, what if she hadn't been willing to work with me, as is the case for so many other wives? What if she later finds out that she can't handle being married to a woman? What if I find myself being attracted to a man down the road and wanting a heterosexual relationship? Would I, out of love for her, go back to being a husband?
We've talked about these possibilities should they arise. She and I have been open and honest about our feelings; we trust that we will be able to work out an arrangement that is fair to both of us. The key for us was to remove the uncertainty, and, therefore, the fear of whatever the future has in store. Neither of us wants to end our relationship, but neither do we want the other to be unhappy. We can't foresee the future, but we can set the stage for whatever happens: no blaming; no hidden agendas; no guilt; no shame.
Clara
I mentioned before that I was drawn to your theory back in 2013 as a way to treat my own GD while still maintaining the male role in my marriage. Yes, I found relief from mental distress by taking estrogenic herbs (PM), and yes, I was able to maintain male sexual function by taking monthly cold-turkey breaks. I was able to lower my estrogen dosage to just 1500 mg of PM a day and still maintain the therapeutic results I was looking for. Everything seemed to be working as expected, but...
As time went on, the intensity of my female gender identity increased. The GD began to return. I noticed changes in my temperament, and my need to express my feminine side increased. I started to cross dress for the first time unlike many whose need to cross dress diminishes as T levels fall.
It wasn't working, and I attribute it to the activation of estrogen receptors in my brain (much like what happens in breast tissue) as my T vs. E levels shifted to estrogen. In short, for me, there was NO optimal estrogen level that would create a stable middle ground allowing me to fulfill a male role while holding back my inner woman. My gender identity is too far to the opposite end of the gender spectrum. If I was more in the middle, it might have worked. The fact is, I'm transsexual. I have no doubt about it.
Is it possible to live 66 years as a male while possessing such a strong feminine gender identity? The answer clearly is yes in my case. Could I have continued in a male role despite my gender dysphoria for the sake of my family? In my opinion, no. It became unbearable, which is why I sought relief, and am now in the middle of a full MTF transition.
Once I started down that path, there was no turning back. Fortunately, for me, my wife was sympathetic to my suffering, wanted to help me, and was willing to take it step by step for as long as possible.
But, what if she hadn't been willing to work with me, as is the case for so many other wives? What if she later finds out that she can't handle being married to a woman? What if I find myself being attracted to a man down the road and wanting a heterosexual relationship? Would I, out of love for her, go back to being a husband?
We've talked about these possibilities should they arise. She and I have been open and honest about our feelings; we trust that we will be able to work out an arrangement that is fair to both of us. The key for us was to remove the uncertainty, and, therefore, the fear of whatever the future has in store. Neither of us wants to end our relationship, but neither do we want the other to be unhappy. We can't foresee the future, but we can set the stage for whatever happens: no blaming; no hidden agendas; no guilt; no shame.
Clara