[GoneGirl]

Bad behavior would be someone who's sexually promiscuous, has run the risk of contracting some form of VD, and doesn't care if he passes it along to his next partner.

The equivalent would be to know or strongly suspect you are transgender, realize that it could present a problem down the line, but get married anyway without telling your partner, and just walk away from the marriage when things blow up. Who would do such a thing? That's not the way it works.

I view it more like falling in love with person and deciding to marry paying no mind to the fact that there's a family history of cancer, alcoholism, Alzheimers, or some other genetic medical condition that could present difficult problems in the future marriage. And if at some point that genetic susceptibility manifests itself, is resentment and blame an appropriate response? Few would think so.

We apply a double-standard though when it comes to being transgender. It's not like other medical conditions. Oh no! This one is shameful and stigmatizing, like leprosy, cancer, mental illness, and AIDS once were.

We as a society need to get over that perception. That's why I object to all this talk about the transgender person being selfish, insensitive, and bearing sole responsibility for his or her condition.

I really wish we would stop judging others, especially when not having walked in their shoes.

Clara