[Billie]

You sound brave to me. You moved from country to country something I would not do. Then you wrote about your true feelings a lot. As a poet and artist I know you must be brave to put yourself out there bearing your soul. You ask about your sexual dynamic. I am certain you can find a lover, friends, and a community to support you. I found places like fetlife, yutuvu, facebook, tumbler, fliker, butterflylounge, PFLAG, support groups like AA, DBSA depression bipolar support alliance.