15-03-2016, 08:00 PM
Hi, Katie.
I can understand where you're at. I've dropped hints and feelers with everyone I've ever dated, and only one was even remotely receptive (and the ideas didn't include transition, but she wanted a normal family life. Which is sort of out of scope for us, I fear.)
I've found that the more we get yanked around by our emotions (read: Her emotions, and our reaction to them), the less we are able to be ourselves. This is not a Trans* thing, either. It's a "man" response to a woman's emotions. When she's "leaking," we did something wrong, we need to fix it.
DON'T fix it. Don't even react. That's actually what she's looking for! To destabilize you.
In the Manosphere context, it's a "shit test." She's checking how strong you are as a man. And even if you're a woman inside, she doesn't see it that way. Never will, from that perspective. Her eyes see "man," her reptilian hindbrain makes her test to see how safe she is.
They've always done it, and always will. I firmly believe if we cross the gender barrier, we will do the same. ;-)
It's also not conscious, so talking about it fairly pointless. Further talking to a genetic woman who isn't exceptionally high IQ, or exceptionally logical or analytical, is going to do nothing piss her off (it'll be seen as a personal attack.)
So there's that. As a man, you can't react to her. As a woman, WOULD YOU react to her this way? Or would you commiserate and share the experience and bond by talking?
It's like the complain there is a "double standard" for women. No! There is ONE standard for women. And another standard for men. We've spent our lives trying to meet that "Man" standard. Maybe achieved to some extent, maybe failed completely, but mostly been driven half-mad by it. Because we're not meant to MEET that standard. We're wired to meet the other standard....
Men and women aren't in the same race, if you will.
We, in the mean time, are doing a three-legged race, Man + Woman side, each hobbling the other.
It means you're sensitive to her needs, but misread what she actually is asking for. (Not to be upset, so are a LOT of males who want to be Men.) But we're also not wired to give her what she needs. We listen to her words and give her what she wants. Then she's unhappy....
TL;DR: Your purge shows she can control you. You're not a man she can respect, so she'll grow to resent you. And she can't just move on. So you didn't gain anything with this, though I understand it.
End 1.
I can understand where you're at. I've dropped hints and feelers with everyone I've ever dated, and only one was even remotely receptive (and the ideas didn't include transition, but she wanted a normal family life. Which is sort of out of scope for us, I fear.)
I've found that the more we get yanked around by our emotions (read: Her emotions, and our reaction to them), the less we are able to be ourselves. This is not a Trans* thing, either. It's a "man" response to a woman's emotions. When she's "leaking," we did something wrong, we need to fix it.
DON'T fix it. Don't even react. That's actually what she's looking for! To destabilize you.
In the Manosphere context, it's a "shit test." She's checking how strong you are as a man. And even if you're a woman inside, she doesn't see it that way. Never will, from that perspective. Her eyes see "man," her reptilian hindbrain makes her test to see how safe she is.
They've always done it, and always will. I firmly believe if we cross the gender barrier, we will do the same. ;-)
It's also not conscious, so talking about it fairly pointless. Further talking to a genetic woman who isn't exceptionally high IQ, or exceptionally logical or analytical, is going to do nothing piss her off (it'll be seen as a personal attack.)
So there's that. As a man, you can't react to her. As a woman, WOULD YOU react to her this way? Or would you commiserate and share the experience and bond by talking?
It's like the complain there is a "double standard" for women. No! There is ONE standard for women. And another standard for men. We've spent our lives trying to meet that "Man" standard. Maybe achieved to some extent, maybe failed completely, but mostly been driven half-mad by it. Because we're not meant to MEET that standard. We're wired to meet the other standard....
Men and women aren't in the same race, if you will.
We, in the mean time, are doing a three-legged race, Man + Woman side, each hobbling the other.
It means you're sensitive to her needs, but misread what she actually is asking for. (Not to be upset, so are a LOT of males who want to be Men.) But we're also not wired to give her what she needs. We listen to her words and give her what she wants. Then she's unhappy....
TL;DR: Your purge shows she can control you. You're not a man she can respect, so she'll grow to resent you. And she can't just move on. So you didn't gain anything with this, though I understand it.
End 1.