[Dianna1395]

[...]
While I now know I am bi, while trying to pass as a man, I was seriously relationship-phobic.

It is hard to have an honest relationship with someone when we are lying to their face....
I.E., we are dishonest with them because we need to filter everything we say and do... Must make sure it's "male" enough. Cannot react emotionally. Cannot say, "that's cute!" or "How could she wear THAT?!" - or even react normally.
I'll give a "violence" example. A man is insulting us. Looking for violence, actually. Even a strong man knows there's risk in a fight. Women... Seem to not get this. When a woman fights, though, there's nothing held back. Wildcat, usually, going for eyes, hair, ears, clawing at the face.
A man will punch, and cover up to protect the body.
So our "friend" looking for a fight? If we respond in kind, responding to his implicit violence? We go overboard, cause severe damage (woman's targets with a man's strength.) And if we socially deflect or walk away, which a woman will do - asking for help, say, or expecting it from other males....? We're pussies, not men.

No win situation.

Social interactions?
Well, the woman showing off her engagement ring? The man's response has to be something like, "That's nice! Congratulations!" Not asking about the event, how she felt, when's the wedding, oh that was romantic, etc. No empathy. Nothing, in fact.

If a man does do that...? Does empathize, does ask the "girly" questions? "Hand in your man card!" (Or, he's deemed gay. Same diff for our purposes...)

See a woman wearing traffic-cone orange nail color? Man isn't supposed to notice that. A woman can talk about it, and how it clashes with the outfit, besides being garish...
(I made that mistake myself. But WTF, it was TRAFFIC. CONE. ORANGE.)

So we are hiding who we are, and only connecting in a VERY limited fashion. And even then, it's not authentic. So we are forced to wonder what THEY are hiding? And it's not the soccer mom who is also a professional Domme sort of hiding - we've hidden who we are, and cannot be open or honest as a result.

I think that's what you're referring to, Abi...

-Dianna