13-04-2016, 12:54 AM
You're curious to see what it feels like to push further, but you're afraid that if you go too far, it'll turn into a slippery slope that will take your away from your entire life. Correct? Your parents, your wife, and possibly your friends would reject you if you went too far? Well, there's really only two things that you need to figure out:
Question 1. Do steps that make you closer to transition make you feel happier about yourself?
Question 2. If so, which happiness matters more: the happiness from transition, or the happiness from your wife, parents, and friends?
Question 1's steps are things like those that have already been discussed in here, or considered by you. Things like shaving your facial hair off. Dressing up. Socializing with people that would be accepting towards this course of action. Now, due to the inherent risk of being rejected by the people that are currently not acceptable to be rejected by, you'll have to pick things you can either justifiable conceal, or, offer an alternate explanation for.
I believe iaboy already suggested alternative explanations for the facial hair? Just figure out things like that. A word of caution though, once you've exhausted the things you can either hide or give alternative explanations for AND they're still making you happy/leaving you wanting more, you'll have to start answering Question 2.
If you cross the line, and experiment in some way that WILL no matter what be noticed, there will be some kind of reaction. It might be curiosity, confusion, or even rejection. Obviously, the severity will vary depending upon the severity of the experiment. But whatever that reaction is, your feelings towards it will tell you something about your answer.
From here, it's a balancing act. Asking yourself if you want more, pursuing it if the answer is yes, and gauging if the reaction is worth whatever happiness you acquire from it. No one can give you the answer (sorry, I would if I could). You're just going to have to figure out which matters more: needing the feminization, or needing the family. Only more experimenting will give you the answer.
My personal advice: if you really are transsexual, then you'll never be happy with your wife and family rejecting who you really are. Then again, if you're not transsexual, you've got nothing to worry about. The ultimate dilemma will be if you're not yet sure, yet one more step will take you into that place of rejection. If you get there, you have my best. All I can say is that if it were me, I'd have to choose finding out the answer. I couldn't live the rest of my life not knowing. That's why I started NBE in the first place.
Question 1. Do steps that make you closer to transition make you feel happier about yourself?
Question 2. If so, which happiness matters more: the happiness from transition, or the happiness from your wife, parents, and friends?
Question 1's steps are things like those that have already been discussed in here, or considered by you. Things like shaving your facial hair off. Dressing up. Socializing with people that would be accepting towards this course of action. Now, due to the inherent risk of being rejected by the people that are currently not acceptable to be rejected by, you'll have to pick things you can either justifiable conceal, or, offer an alternate explanation for.
I believe iaboy already suggested alternative explanations for the facial hair? Just figure out things like that. A word of caution though, once you've exhausted the things you can either hide or give alternative explanations for AND they're still making you happy/leaving you wanting more, you'll have to start answering Question 2.
If you cross the line, and experiment in some way that WILL no matter what be noticed, there will be some kind of reaction. It might be curiosity, confusion, or even rejection. Obviously, the severity will vary depending upon the severity of the experiment. But whatever that reaction is, your feelings towards it will tell you something about your answer.
From here, it's a balancing act. Asking yourself if you want more, pursuing it if the answer is yes, and gauging if the reaction is worth whatever happiness you acquire from it. No one can give you the answer (sorry, I would if I could). You're just going to have to figure out which matters more: needing the feminization, or needing the family. Only more experimenting will give you the answer.
My personal advice: if you really are transsexual, then you'll never be happy with your wife and family rejecting who you really are. Then again, if you're not transsexual, you've got nothing to worry about. The ultimate dilemma will be if you're not yet sure, yet one more step will take you into that place of rejection. If you get there, you have my best. All I can say is that if it were me, I'd have to choose finding out the answer. I couldn't live the rest of my life not knowing. That's why I started NBE in the first place.