[Sofia Bunny]

Fire,
I understand your dilemma's, as does pretty much everyone on here. However, IMO, the very fact that you are acknowledging them means that the urges won't go away. The intensity of the itch may vary from time to time, but it will always be there. Having said that, it's better to think it through and plan for things to happen and not leave it to spur of the moment chance. In my experience although spur of the moment can be wonderful, it can also turn into disaster.

Thanks Pansy Mae, I appreciate your input. I am sure you are right, the urge will not go away till it has been satisfied. Fortunately for me, my desire for privacy is much stronger. I am pretty familiar with things going completely the wrong direction, and resulting in disaster. Even with that knowledge, I have found that the disaster is still easier to comfront and deal with after the fact than it is to try and plan things out. Planning things out usually leads to disappointment as things rarely go the way we would have liked them to, so sometimes chaos is easier to deal with. At least that way everything is already layed out, just have to pickup the pieces. At least for me it is.