28-05-2016, 12:52 PM
Dear Fire
I have been following your posts and hadn't intended to comment as it seems you had a good dialogue going with others here. But reading this post broke my heart and I just have to say something.
Firstly, you have no need to apologise. We may be geographically spread around the world but we truly are just the other side of the computer screen too. YOU... ARE... NOT... ALONE.
Secondly, HUG! And not just a polite and very British touch and release. A full blown wrapping of the arms, getting squished together and never letting go hug! I mean it too! :-) They don't call me Huggy for nothing you know ;-)
The problem is that when you are in the middle of the maelstrom it's so hard to see a way out. And one thing is sure, you are in the middle of a storm! But storms do eventually calm. I promise, they really do :-)
I have spent the entire morning writing and re-writing what to say next. Some of it was really good too! ;-) But I suspect what you need most of all at the moment is not advice but to simply know that you are not mad! You may be coping with crazy stuff but you are not mad. And you are not alone... there are many many others that have gone through and are going through similar agonies. And as far away as this idea may seem right now, things do work out.
You clearly love you wife and by the way you describe how she tried to be sweet to you (eventually) indicates she loves you too? You have spent many years of your life with her, and I am sure faced many battles side by side just to stay together. That in itself is precious and in today's world rather rare.
The fact she eventually responded seems to say that she hasn't given up, and I suspect you are right, she doesn't understand. But it is at least a foundation, a basis to build upon? I hesitate to advise, but perhaps when things are calmer it may be time to begin "that" conversation? It won't be just one chat but honest dialogue has to start somewhere?
Actually, I do have a suggestion. You have many friends here, why not practice what you want to say with one of us? Prepare yourself. Practice just how would be the best way to help her understand you? Perhaps in helping her understand, you may be able to help you understand yourself too? I am sure I speak for many here that we would feel greatly privileged to pm with you if you thought it would help.
And finally HUG!!!! Lotsa HUGGS! Big ones little ones and everything in between :-)
Huggy.
I have been following your posts and hadn't intended to comment as it seems you had a good dialogue going with others here. But reading this post broke my heart and I just have to say something.
Firstly, you have no need to apologise. We may be geographically spread around the world but we truly are just the other side of the computer screen too. YOU... ARE... NOT... ALONE.
Secondly, HUG! And not just a polite and very British touch and release. A full blown wrapping of the arms, getting squished together and never letting go hug! I mean it too! :-) They don't call me Huggy for nothing you know ;-)
The problem is that when you are in the middle of the maelstrom it's so hard to see a way out. And one thing is sure, you are in the middle of a storm! But storms do eventually calm. I promise, they really do :-)
I have spent the entire morning writing and re-writing what to say next. Some of it was really good too! ;-) But I suspect what you need most of all at the moment is not advice but to simply know that you are not mad! You may be coping with crazy stuff but you are not mad. And you are not alone... there are many many others that have gone through and are going through similar agonies. And as far away as this idea may seem right now, things do work out.
You clearly love you wife and by the way you describe how she tried to be sweet to you (eventually) indicates she loves you too? You have spent many years of your life with her, and I am sure faced many battles side by side just to stay together. That in itself is precious and in today's world rather rare.
The fact she eventually responded seems to say that she hasn't given up, and I suspect you are right, she doesn't understand. But it is at least a foundation, a basis to build upon? I hesitate to advise, but perhaps when things are calmer it may be time to begin "that" conversation? It won't be just one chat but honest dialogue has to start somewhere?
Actually, I do have a suggestion. You have many friends here, why not practice what you want to say with one of us? Prepare yourself. Practice just how would be the best way to help her understand you? Perhaps in helping her understand, you may be able to help you understand yourself too? I am sure I speak for many here that we would feel greatly privileged to pm with you if you thought it would help.
And finally HUG!!!! Lotsa HUGGS! Big ones little ones and everything in between :-)
Huggy.