06-07-2016, 09:46 PM
It seems (perhaps I am wrong) that Being transgender goes hand in hand with depression.. *sigh* at least, for me it does.
one of the key songs from P!nk -don't let me get me. speaks volumes with myself and my issues with depression.
it can be a gorgeous day , sun out, everything being beautiful in the world, yet.. I cannot bring myself to be happy.. no matter what. I am usually an upbeat person, however when I get hit with an episode of depression, its like someone coming from the shadows with a big bat upside the head. I "know" I should be happy. I know I should be "ok" , but it just doesn't seem to materialize.
Its not that I am not thankful, or content..its this malaise that overtakes me and consumes me like an unextstinquishable fire . eventually, it works itself out, but I just hate when its here. No explanation, no answers.. BOOM "here I am, suck it up buttercup".
OF course, I become irrational, irritable and inconsequently, incoherent in my thoughts. I just want to curl up under a blanket and go to sleep until it is gone.
I am sure, there are others out there who can associate with this feeling.. perhaps not. I know I am not alone, nor am I special in that regard. it is merely just a notation of the dangers of being trans.. at least in my case.
one of the key songs from P!nk -don't let me get me. speaks volumes with myself and my issues with depression.
it can be a gorgeous day , sun out, everything being beautiful in the world, yet.. I cannot bring myself to be happy.. no matter what. I am usually an upbeat person, however when I get hit with an episode of depression, its like someone coming from the shadows with a big bat upside the head. I "know" I should be happy. I know I should be "ok" , but it just doesn't seem to materialize.
Its not that I am not thankful, or content..its this malaise that overtakes me and consumes me like an unextstinquishable fire . eventually, it works itself out, but I just hate when its here. No explanation, no answers.. BOOM "here I am, suck it up buttercup".
OF course, I become irrational, irritable and inconsequently, incoherent in my thoughts. I just want to curl up under a blanket and go to sleep until it is gone.
I am sure, there are others out there who can associate with this feeling.. perhaps not. I know I am not alone, nor am I special in that regard. it is merely just a notation of the dangers of being trans.. at least in my case.