[Sofia Bunny]

I don't know if this will apply, and I'm a bit rushed for time, please bear with me...
I had to sit down and tell the woman here I was done with the relationship.

Oddly, she took it well.
Also, since I'm not responsible FOR her, I don't have the issues I did just a few days ago. (Meaning, relating to her.)
She's been in counseling, I think she expected some of this, but... It had nothing to do with my T* or not status, or what I wore, I just told her neither of us were getting what we needed out of the relationship, so... what were we actually doing? Why bother?

I think we're both better off for it.
So, end hijack - but point of the hijack was,
Maybe it's a "responsible for" vs. "Responsible To" issue.
I believe in the Old Ways, so I'm responsible FOR those under my care. Especially when they're not as competent as they think: For example, you don't give an alcoholic alcohol, or supply narcotics to an addict.You don't give a child a gas can and a zippo.
And she acts like a child all too often when she thinks she can get away with it.

Now, maybe for you, there's something connected to that. We take responsibility for things outside our control, like how she feels. We can't do that. It's dishonest to both of you. She can't give an honest reaction because you're hiding something - and the hiding results in lost intimacy, lost trust...
Which happened in my relationship.

Just wanted to toss that out there as a possibility.
On our end, we already had the, "Lack of trust" discussion, about a year or two ago. Makes me wonder how we got to this point?

-Dianna

Thank you Dianna for your thoughts and insight. Sorry for the delayed response, I hadn't realized there were responses to the thread. Also I'm sorry to hear things did not work out for you with your SO.

I do believe that my wife and I need to go back to counseling, we are both going back to bad habits and an outside 3rd party could help us both see each others perspective a bit more clearly.