[Billie]

O.K., today I went to my therapist with 3 questions.

1.  Why do I feel like I am waffling on rather to accept HRT if offered?

2.  Why do I feel like I am being selfish if I succumb  to the female side of things?

3.  What did she mean by saying several sessions ago that HRT could do me great good, depending on how far I go with it.


Answers:

1.  Because all of my life I have been conditioned to do, be, feel and react in every circumstance a male.  That is the same as someone coming out of a coma and realizes he/she has been in a coma for 10 years.  Things on the outside are different, but the person doesn't feel like they have aged.  But in my case, I am bewildered that I have been in a coma mentally, that she feels I have always  accepted work that kept my mind and body so busy so I wouldn't have to face the fact that I was both gender's.  And that now, I cannot keep myself busy enough and my inner being is screaming at me now that it can get my attention....

2.  Basically, for the same reason as the answer for #1, except I am worried that I have to accept being more feminine or losing all of my family, friends and loved ones.  That I have tried to reason with myself on this false narrative.  She said that many 3rd gendered or "Two Spirit" folks have been able to navigate and avoid many problems that I am so fearful of.

3.  She, as a therapist, is concerned that I may go further than I need and there is no road back, or maybe not as far with feminization as I may need.  Due in part that no matter how well meaning, or experienced a therapist or family member might be, they can still mislead 3rd gender's into not doing what's not right for them.  That the decision on how far down the road I go, is ultimately mine to make.  

I know that several of my closest friends here was real worried that going to a Gender Therapist could be bad for me.  Almost like a Doctor who believes that every ailment can be cured with an aspirin.  Or on the flip side, a Doctor who thinks because you have indigestion, they have to operate on you to remove a blockage, tumor or other restriction when in reality, a Tums or Rolaids would of cured the same problem.

I still have questions and trepidations.  But as Lotus and a couple of other's have said.....  I do NOT have to take HRT if I do not feel right about it.  But at least get some answers in the process.

I feel that today, overall, was a great day.  And I hope you all have had a great day as well....

As always, any feedback or thoughts would be nice to hear, but please keep it on subject to help me and whomever else may get solace or advice as well.

Iaboy,
Thanks for the update!
And mostly I'm glad you had a great day, it does a body good.
The best I can offer at the moment is a hug.
Huggs
Bobbi

Thanks Bobbi!  Gladly accepted too!

Sounds like you're doing pretty well, overall.  Keep going! :-)

I fear I've put things off so long I don't have the option, this year...  :-(
Of course, if I don't CALL, I won't KNOW...  

Got a BITCH of work to do right now...  Can't even take my allotted vacation time. (Looking more at how to drop the 9-5 BS, since in IT it's more like 3 AM - 3 AM...)
-Dianna

...